I. Nikolas Visits Elizabeth (4/21)
Elizabeth: "Thanks for coming by, but I'm--really, I'm fine. That's Lucky's shirt."
Nikolas: "I know."
Elizabeth: "I remember when Lucky got this. It was a couple weeks after he moved into his new place. We bought it together. He always wore it because he knew I liked it. I used to lay my head on his chest, and I could hear his heart beat right through it."
Elizabeth: "I don't want to feel this way, Nikolas. I don't want to know that Lucky's not coming back. We had all these plans--I mean, New York and the art school. And we knew where we were going to live and what we were going to do on Saturdays. I told him our next project was going to be one of his dreams--something I could help him with the way he helped me. It shouldn't have happened. His life was just starting."
Nikolas: "I know, sweetheart. I know. I don't understand it, either. You know, you and Lucky were perfect."
Elizabeth: "I depended on him for so much."
Nikolas: "I know."
Elizabeth: "And not just the little things, like walking me home or sharing my cheese fries, but for the way I felt when I woke up in the morning. My courage and strength and the right thing to do. And those incredibly soft little kisses he'd give me on my cheek. I can't do it. I can't be without him."
Nikolas: "Yes, you can. You won't be without him, Elizabeth--not completely."
Elizabeth: "What do you mean?"
Nikolas: "My mother told Lesley Lu that Lucky's in heaven. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's as good an answer as any because that means that he at least didn't just disappear, you know? Even though Lucky's not right here with us, his love for you is stronger than ever. Ok? Lucky will forever be with you in here. Right here. And all you have to do is believe."
Elizabeth: "When I was a little girl, I used to dream about falling in love. It was like a fairy tale, you know--a handsome prince, castle, getting dressed up for dinner every night. And then reality set in. There are no such things as princes. Then I met Lucky. Well, I didn't actually meet him, but when I saw him for the first time, I knew how truly incredible he really was. Smart, secure, brave, and cool in a way that meant something. I tried to get him to like me, but he just--he wanted Sarah. Like you did. And then I got raped. Lucky took care of me. He didn't love me at first, and I knew that. But he cared. He gave our friendship a chance. Then one day, we were in love. And it wasn't that fairy tale kind of love. It was the deep, unquestioning, "god, I can't wait to see him" kind of love. Who I am, who I've become is someone who loves Lucky. And without that, I don't know what's left."
Nikolas: "You still have you. That doesn't go away."
Elizabeth: "I'm sorry. You've lost your brother, and I haven't even mentioned it."
Nikolas: "I loved Lucky. But I never told him."
Elizabeth: "Words aren't important. He knew."
Nikolas: "Still would have been nice, you know?"
Elizabeth: "Well, regrets aren't going to do either one of us any good."
Nikolas: "No."
Elizabeth: "The important thing is to remember how much we loved him and how much he loved us."
Nikolas: "If I ever lose sight of that, will you remind me?"
Elizabeth: "As long as you do the same for me."
Elizabeth: "I wish you could give me a sign. Not that you hear me. Nothing like that. But a sign that you're really gone. Because I can't seem to make it true. And I can't feel the thing I should feel if I know you're not coming back. I know you'd be with me right now if you could. Maybe you could stop and wait for me somewhere. Just show me the way. You know I'll do anything. Just show me how."
Elizabeth: "You know, it was strange when I heard you come in and I heard the door and the footsteps, and for a second I got this crazy idea that --"
Nikolas: "It's ok. If you're crazy, then so am i. Doesn't feel real to me, either, that he's gone. You know, it was great what you said at the funeral."
Elizabeth: "It was the last thing I could do for him. I didn't want to break down like that."
Nikolas: "No, it was the only thing I remember anybody saying. You said that Lucky saved your life. And I thought, 'Yeah, that's what he did for me, too.'"
Elizabeth: "She says thank you."
Nikolas: "Well, you must be exhausted."
Elizabeth: "Have you ever been afraid to go to sleep? Afraid because you might have a dream that you don't want to have?"
Nikolas: "Maybe once or twice."
Elizabeth: "I was dreaming that night. I could hear sirens, police cars, fire trucks. When I woke up, I couldn't hear them anymore. Maybe when I was sleeping, I could hear. But they would have been very far away, and I didn't smell smoke or see the sky change color or fire. So I reached for the phone to call Lucky to tell him about my dream, and there was a recording that said it wasn't working. And I thought, 'Well, if his phone doesn't ring, then how will he know it's broken, right?'"
Nikolas: "Yeah."
Elizabeth: "So I decided to go over there and tell him, and to tell him about my dream."
Nikolas: "About the sirens?"
Elizabeth: "No, that didn't happen till the end. I had a dream that we were dancing. We were like perfect partners."
Nikolas: "Mm-hmm."
Elizabeth: "We didn't think about our feet or the music --"
Nikolas: "Mm-hmm."
Elizabeth: "And we just seemed to glide."
Nikolas: "Maybe that's what you'll dream about and not the sirens."
Elizabeth: "Maybe. That would be nice. You know, you're right. I have so many more good things to remember than bad. Like valentine's day here. I would have never thought a whole year before that valentine's day would be something I'd be glad to remember. He took--he erased the worst night of my life and turned it into the happiest. And he promised he'd love me forever."
Nikolas: "And you know him--he would never break a promise."
As I watched Liz ask Nikolas to stay with her as she fell asleep, I was thinking two things:
1) Parallelism: Not strict, but still there. As Luke was presumed dead, Holly ended up with his friend Robert. I think that we have to be headed towards something--even a short something--about Nik and Liz. Substitution also runs rampant in this set of characters, after all, and Laura will look for comfort in Nik, as will Liz, just as Stefan turned to Kathy, Nik turned to his various blondes, etc. (Side note: I hope Nik realized he needed to get rid of Kathy while listening to Liz talk of love.
2) Liz: I'm not sure I can respect Liz if we go down this path. She gets over the rape with Lucky's help; she gets over Lucky's death with Nik's help--if she doesn't realize that what Nik says is true--that she still has her, and that she still is her, then I'm going to be pissed. I'm hoping for a Laura/Liz conversation about the men that made them, quite frankly, so Laura and Liz can both realize they are not just what Luke and Lucky made them, but at the same time, they were helped in their development by the Spencer men.
Terry's son agreed with me. His reactions, as related by his mom: "Liz and Nik--I don't want to see her like this. I'm afraid. Oh, no. She's gonna do it, she's gonna get interested in Nik. I've seen this on some other show--she'll start thinking of Nik like Lucky and try to replace Lucky with Nik and fall for Nik and then find out Lucky is alive and feel so guilty. Oh, no, this isn't good."
II. Elizabeth Asks for a Sign (4/23, 26)
Elizabeth: "You have my heart. That's a permanent lock. Everything I am is in love with you--my mind, my soul, my body, my spirit. And that will never change. I pledge myself to you, Lucky, today and forever. [metallic scratching]"
Lucky: "Come on! Show your face, you coward! Why are you keeping me here? Why are you keeping me here?"
At this point, we realized Lucky was alive and trapped somewhere. I'll comment on the choice to let the audience know he was alive later. At this point, I wondered if Helena was in on this part of the plan, or if this was Faison's own side-plan (since I had read the spoilers and knew it was Faison). I wrote at the time, "Why would she bring on an attack from another, non-financial front? Why make this more personal than it already is for Luke? If, on the other hand, Helena was gunning for Lucky because she thought it would drive Laura away from Stefan, that might be something. But I'm not convinced it was her hand in this. I'm not convinced it's not her, either, mind you."
III. Elizabeth Hears the Results of the Arson Report and Blames Herself for Lucky's Death (4/28)
Bobbie: "Honey, do yourself a favor--go home. Get some rest."
Elizabeth: "If I go home right now, I'll end up taking every piece of clothing out of my dresser, refolding it, and putting it back in a different drawer."
Bobbie: "Yeah, I know what you mean. When B.J. first died, I had this thing about clean towels. If somebody so much as breathed on one, it went immediately into the washer."
Elizabeth: "So can I stay?"
Bobbie: "Of course you can."
Claude: "We ran out of olives, and I had the supplier drop off a case."
Sonny: "I'm importing the wrong product. Here you go."
Elizabeth: "Excuse me, Sonny?"
Sonny: "Hi, Elizabeth. Sorry I didn't go to the funeral."
Elizabeth: "Oh, I got your flowers and your note. It meant a lot. Thanks."
Sonny: "Have a seat. Have a seat. You want me to get you something to drink, something to eat? Anything you want, you got."
Elizabeth: "Actually, I--I came for a reason."
Sonny: "Yeah?"
Elizabeth: "I read in the newspaper yesterday that they were blaming you and Emily's brother for the fire at the motorcycle shop."
Sonny: "Mm-hmm."
Elizabeth: "Is that why you didn't come to the funeral?"
Sonny: "We--we didn't want to intrude. You know what I mean?"
Elizabeth: "Oh, well, I just came by to let you know that you don't have to worry about that anymore. Comm. Scorpio brought in some arson experts, and they said the fire was started by some candles in Lucky's room."
Sonny: "Yeah, I've heard."
Elizabeth: "I gave him those candles."
Sonny: "The fire was an accident."
Elizabeth: "Lucky didn't even like candles. I did. Oh--I guess maybe he was trying to like them because that night he called to let me know that he lit one to remind him of me. And I asked him to light another one for me. Comm. Scorpio said the arson people think that the fire was started because he fell asleep with the candles burning. See, it wasn't your fault. It was mine."
Elizabeth: "If I hadn't given Lucky those candles, he'd still be here today."
Sonny: "You believe in heaven, Elizabeth?"
Elizabeth: "Yeah."
Sonny: "You believe Lucky's there right now?"
Elizabeth: "Yes."
Sonny: "Blaming you for giving him those candles?"
Elizabeth: "No."
Sonny: "Angry because you asked him to light that second one?"
Elizabeth: "Lucky wouldn't be like that."
Sonny: "Well, if Lucky--if Lucky lost his life and isn't blaming you, then maybe you should stop blaming yourself. Not--not--not--what I'm trying to say is not everything happens for a reason. I know it's hard to accept that. But the very last thing Lucky would want is for you to hurt yourself like this because of him."
Elizabeth: "I didn't mean to take up so much of your time. I just wanted to let you know myself that it couldn't possibly be your fault Lucky died."
Sonny: "Well, you're a very thoughtful person. Now I know why Lucky cared about you so much."
Elizabeth: "Will you tell Jason about what I said?"
Sonny: "Yeah, yeah."
Elizabeth: "Thanks."
Sonny: "You on your way home?"
Elizabeth: "Yeah."
Sonny: "Is there somebody there for you?"
Elizabeth: "My grandmother."
Sonny: "Why don't I have my driver drop you."
Elizabeth: "No, no, no. That's ok."
Sonny: "Believe me, you'll be doing me a favor."
Elizabeth: "Can I go now?"
Sonny: "Yeah, yeah. I'll walk you out."
Sonny: "This is Johnny, my driver. Elizabeth Webber."
Elizabeth: "Hi."
Johnny: "Hi, ms. Webber."
Sonny: "I want you to drive her home. Do not leave until she gets in the house. Yeah? Right? It was good to see you again. If you need anything, you want to get in touch with me, you know where to find me."
Elizabeth: "Ok. Thanks."
Sonny: "Ok. Bye. Take care of her."
Taggert: "You know, I don't know what you said to that girl, but I pray to god she didn't believe you."
The contrast between this scene and the one with Luke and Bobbie before the memorial service was a nice one. Luke can't believe, but Sonny can, and reminds Elizabeth that she believes as well. Sonny once told Jason, "There's gotta be a heaven, Jason. Somebody as good as Stone couldn't just end." And I wondered at the thought that the conversation of faith was one I don't remember Sonny and Luke ever having.
Elizabeth: "I'm so sorry, Lucky. I'm so sorry."
IV. Nikolas Helps Elizabeth Stop Blaming Herself (4/29, 30)
Elizabeth: "Laura didn't tell you, did she?"
Nikolas: "Tell me what?"
Elizabeth: "About the fire, about how it started."
Nikolas: "Only that it was an accident."
Elizabeth: "But it wasn't. It was because of the candles, Nikolas. I put them in his room. He lit them because of me. It was me. I--I killed Lucky."
Nikolas: "No. No, Liz, Liz, look at me. Come here. No, you did not."
Elizabeth: "Yes, I did."
Nikolas: "It's ok. Ok."
Nikolas: "Well, if you're going to blame yourself, then you have to blame Lucky, too, ok? He's the one who lit the candle, ok? He's the one who left it burning and then fell asleep."
Elizabeth: "But he didn't mean to."
Nikolas: "So if he didn't mean to, then how did it happen? If he wasn't being irresponsible, Elizabeth, then it was what?"
Elizabeth: "It was an accident."
Nikolas: "Was what?"
Elizabeth: "It was an accident."
Nikolas: "Exactly. It was an accident. No one is to blame, least of all you, ok? Lucky knows that and you know that, too. So tell me you know it."
Elizabeth: "Fine. It was no one's fault."
Nikolas: "It was what?"
Elizabeth: "It was no one's fault."
Nikolas: "Come here."
Nikolas: "No, you won't drown, Elizabeth. You're too strong to drown."
Elizabeth: "No. No, I'm not. Lucky made me strong. He gave me that. He gave me everything. And now it's all gone."
Nikolas: "No. No, Lucky just made the good in you better, all right? He made you believe in a gift that you'd already had. He didn't give you your strength. He didn't give you your talent. He just nurtured it, had faith in it. But you're the artist. Even without him, you're the artist."
Elizabeth: "But I'm not. I already tried. I couldn't sleep one night, and I was imagining Lucky laying on my floor next to my bed like he always used to. And I wanted it so badly I could almost see him the. So I decided to take out my pencil and my sketch pad to draw him like the way I remembered him. I froze. I couldn't even lift my pencil."
Nikolas: "Try again. Just practice picking up the pencil and moving it. I know, I know, but some day it'll move on its own, I promise. I know because that's how I learned to speak. And who ever thinks about speaking, and who ever practices it? I thought that it was a part of me, the same way drawing and painting is a part of you. Something just came along and took that part away from me. You think it's gone, Liz, but it's not. It's just--it's just, like, asleep, just waiting for you to heal. All right, listen, if you--if you believe that Lucky gave you your talent and your strength--well, that's a gift you get to keep. All right? Your Lucky's legacy, the best thing he ever did. And you have to prove that he was right."
Nikolas: "My father's house? You painted this pile of rock?"
Elizabeth: "I think it's pretty."
Nikolas: "Well, it's obvious you're an artist, then, because you see beauty where no one else does. In this case, where it doesn't even exist."
Elizabeth: "I like Wyndemere. And besides, it's the closest thing Port Charles has to a ruin. Art schools seem to be impressed by ruins."
Nikolas: "Well, it's the only excuse I could find for painting this. Would you mind maybe selling it? You know, I'd like to give it to my father. Looks like there's a--hold on--envelope in here. It's addressed to you."
Elizabeth: "Oh, it's either my rejection or my acceptance letter."
Nikolas: "Don't you want to see if you got in?"
From Terry's ratsa update:
"Nik is with Liz when she gets a crate from the NYC art school, which has evaluated her work and is returning it. The pair reminisce about Lucky while looking at her portrait of him. Nik assures her she has a gift, but she says that was all Lucky's doing and that she doesn't think she can ever paint again."
"She talks about how numb she felt the night of the fire. Lucky gave her strength and now he's gone, she insists. Nik disagrees, saying his brother just made her believe in the gifts she already had. She tells him she can't even pick up her pencil to sketch any more, and he tells her to keep at it, to practice just picking up the pencil. Someday, he assures her, it will move again on its own. 'I know, because that's how I learned to speak,' he recalls. [Updater nitpick: Tyler puts the accent on the wrong word in this sentence, as indicated, implying he learned to speak, as opposed to someone else, when he should have accented speak, as in 'I learned to talk again, you'll learn to draw again.]
"Nik checks out Liz's painting of Wyndemere, and asks if she'd sell it, as he'd like to give it to Stefan. In the box with the painting, he finds a letter to Liz. She realizes it's either an acceptance or rejection letter. 'Don't you want to see if you got in?' She hesitates."