IX. Luke and Laura Face the Truth (4/20)
Laura: "No! No, it's not true! No. No, it's got to be some kind of a mistake. No. It's not true. I saw him. I saw him today. Oh, they were going to--Nikolas and he were having dinner together, and they were going to go to Kelly's because Elizabeth was doing something special."
Luke: "The fire was at Morgan's garage, Laura. He was upstairs. He must have already been in bed. I'm sure he didn't even wake up."
Laura: "No!"
Luke: "He inhaled the smoke."
Laura: "No!"
Luke: "Otherwise, he would have been out of the window, baby, because he's--he's a handy little guy. He's always been--"
Laura: "No!"
Luke: "Such a handy little guy."
Laura: "No! No! No!"
No! Not my baby! Oh, god! No!"
Luke: "Yes, I know, I know, I know."
Laura: "Oh, my--not my baby! No! Oh, god! Oh, god."
Laura: "Did you see him? Did--do you know that it was him? Because it could be a mistake."
Luke: "Yeah, well, I--I didn't see him yet."
Laura: "Oh."
Luke: "I had to get to you first."
Laura: "Oh. Oh. Lucky? Maybe it's a mistake. That's--"
Luke: "Laura, sit down. Sit down."
Laura: "I'm going to be sick. Oh."
Luke: "Come on, baby. Ok. Ok."
Laura: "Ok. Ok. Ok. Yeah. How did it start, the fire? How did it start?"
Luke: "I--I don't think they know yet."
Laura: "Yes, they do. Tell me. Was it in an accident? Or--Jason? Or was it--did it have something to do with--Luke, did it have something to do with--"
Luke: "The building was owned by Jason Morgan and Mike Corbin, and they have been having the usual problems."
Laura: "With that guy. What's that guy's name? What's his name?"
Luke: "Moreno."
Laura: "Moreno. Moreno! He's the one that they think is--is the one who burned down Sonny's and Jason's warehouse, right?"
Luke: "Right."
Laura: "That's--"
Luke: "Right."
Laura: "Did he know that there was an innocent child in that building? Did he know that my son, my little boy, was in there? Did he know that?"
Luke: "Laura, Laura, I don't know what anybody knows. Sweetheart, I don't know. But I'm going to find out."
Laura: "If it's mob-related, then it could be anybody. Maybe it is a mistake. It could have been anybody up there."
Luke: "I know. I know. And that's why I'm going to go see the body. I just want to take you home, and then I'm going to go--"
Laura: "No--"
Luke: "I'm going to the morgue."
Laura: "I want to go, too. I'm going with you."
Luke: "I--"
Laura: "Yes, please. I want to go."
Luke: "Ok. Ok. Come on."
X. Elizabeth Retreats Into Denial (4/20)
Taggert: "Elizabeth? What's that on the chain? Looks like a subway token. Must mean something special, huh?"
Elizabeth: "It means we're moving to New York."
Taggert: "That explains why it was so important. Listen, I'm going to need to borrow it, just for a little while. I'll make sure nothing happens to it and you get it right back. I'll see to that myself. All right? I give you my word."
Elizabeth: "It's Lucky's."
Taggert: "I know."
Elizabeth: "It's Lucky's."
Bobbie: "Elizabeth, the police need it for a little while, but we'll make sure you get it back."
Taggert: "Thank you. I'm also going to need to know when the last time you saw Lucky was."
Elizabeth: "We had dinner together tonight."
Taggert: "Where?"
Elizabeth: "Kelly's."
Taggert: "And then what happened? Did you guys split up or did you come back here together or--"
Elizabeth: "He took me home, and we said good night. And then he came back here by himself. But he called me."
Taggert: "When?"
Elizabeth: "To say good night."
Taggert: "Did he mention anything else? Did he say he heard anything, saw anybody?"
Bobbie: "Did Lucky mention anybody else on the phone?"
Taggert: "Is her grandmother coming?"
Bobbie: "Audrey's going to meet us at home. I'm going to take you home."
Taggert: "I'll have one of my officers take both of you home."
Bobbie: "No, thanks. It's ok. I can manage."
Taggert: "Elizabeth? I'm going to be contacting you tomorrow, ok? But if you think of anything, anything at all, even if it's 4:.00 a.m. in the morning, I want you to call me, all right? Promise? Ok. I'm going to have you and Morgan taken to the station for questioning."
Officer: "Lt. Taggert?"
Taggert: "You disappear, and I will never stop looking for you."
XI. Luke and Laura See Their Son One Last Time (4/20)
Taggert: "The coroner's ordered an autopsy, and we have your son's dental records. It's a match. There's no need for a visual I.D. I'm sorry."
Luke: "No, we need one."
Taggert: "I understand that. With all due respect, your son was completely engulfed, and I don't advise you put yourself through that. It's not an image you want to have in your head."
Luke: "It's too late for that, detective. Let me do this. Sweetheart, let me do this. Stay here, ok?"
Taggert: "This is Mr. Spencer. Can you show him his son?"
Laura: "No, please."
Luke: "No."
Laura: "I need to see him."
Luke: "No."
Laura: "Yes. Please?"
Luke: "No--"
Laura: "I want to see my baby one more time."
Luke: "No, no, no--"
Laura: "I want to see my baby one more time. Please?"
Luke: "Ok."
Luke: "No, that's all right. Detective, I've got her. I've got her. I've got you. I've got you, baby. Come on."
Laura: "Oh--"
Luke: "I'll take you home. Come on, I'll take you home. Let me take you home. Come on. Ok. Ok? Ok. We're all right. We're all right. Thank you very much. [Laura coughs] Shh."
Laura: "You murderer!"
Laura: "You swore to me that no violence would ever touch my family. You promised me a thousand times, and my son is lying in there dead! He is burned. You did that. You did that. Look at me, you. You did that. And you--you let an innocent boy live in a place that was targeted for you, for your kind, didn't you? Did you ever try to warn him? Huh? Did you? No, you didn't, did you? And he was just a little boy. He wasn't a man yet. He was still just a little boy."
Luke: "Laura, let me take you."
Laura: "No! God help any children of yours. But you guys don't have any kids, do you?"
Luke: "I want to take you home, Laura."
Laura: "No, you don't, do you? No! You started all of this, Luke. Don't you realize that? You taught our son to trust people like this. You made him believe that he was safe with people like this, and that's why he never came home."
Luke: "The reason he never came home was there was no home to come to. There was a house of lies."
Laura: "Don't you say that to me."
Taggert: "Ms. Spencer, it's been a bad night. Why don't you let me have one of my officers take you home?"
Laura: "Thank you."
These scenes were just as amazing as those on the docks, but were interrupted, for many people, by the shooting at Columbine High School. I hope these transcripts can fill in some of the gaps for some of you.
I was struck by the difference between Laura's insistence on seeing Lucky one last time and Elizabeth's. Taggert kept Elizabeth from seeing him; Laura, on the other hand, had a mother's right to say goodbye to her son. It wondered, though, if it was going to present problems for Elizabeth--if she would begin to convince herself that Lucky was not dead.
The more interesting things about these scenes to me were the quiet interaction between Luke and Laura turning into argument. He tried to keep her from Lucky, but finally acquiesced, still stifling his emotion so he could be there for her as well as protect himself. In an amazing yet subtle moment, Luke looked, as the attendant pulled back the sheet for him. Then Laura looked, not realizing that Luke nodded at the attendant to pull the sheet back again--but Luke did not look a second time. Whereas at the docks he knew what was to come, here they were facing it--and facing it together. Luke's politeness was amazing to watch--so many little gestures and "thank yous" to the police and to Laura, which he would never have thought to make on a normal day, but which were helping him brace up now. Being strong for Laura, too, he slipped into those old endearments I love so well--"Sweetheart," etc.-and held the door for her as they left the morgue. Laura actually fell to the floor, echoing Elizabeth's collapse at the news of the necklace, and Luke supported her. And he intended to take her home. Intended to grieve with her, to comfort her, perhaps to be comforted. To protect her, as he always has tried to do.
But then she saw Sonny and Jason in the hallway, and the fury that had been building through the shock, even as she put together the pieces about Moreno on the docks with her questions to Luke, erupted. It was a defense mechanism, certainly, against her self-blame, against the utter lack of hope that was coming, against the sight of her son burned to death. And when she turned on Luke, he had no recourse but to defend himself too. Neither was ready to take on the blame for this that they would feel later. And each was too raw, too desperate in trying to physically propel their own steps, to hold back the rage. So Luke struck out as well, unwilling to take the blame from her. But after she left with the officer, he looked at Sonny and Jason not as an apology, but not as blame either. They shared a look as if to say, "We know." They all knew, even as they were blaming the others, that they themselves were to blame--or that nobody was to blame, perhaps, but that they had to blame somebody. That look was all the more powerful because Luke did not look when Laura first shrieked out her accusation.
I completely understood Laura's reaction, but because of it, the cop took Laura home instead of Luke, who had supported her in her faint, held her when she thought she would be sick, and managed to speak words of strong comfort in the midst of his own pain. He would have gone home with her and been there for her, but for that. And I wondered if she would remember that later--remember that she could have had him with her. I think that departure, that separation, may have been the saddest moment for me.
Many people on the Internet pointed out that Luke and Laura should have suspected Helena, should have wondered, should have questioned. Perhaps they should. But the ease of explanation--the mob did it--and the shock and horror kept them from seeing that. Clearly rational thought wasn't what was getting them through the shock at this point. They were both reactionary, with Luke only thinking about one step ahead towards what he was going to have to get through next, and Laura not thinking at all. I wondered what he would think when he heard of Alexis's crash, but it was Laura that was going to make that connection, and Stefan who would dismiss it.
I also wonder if it isn't in the back of Luke's mind, at least, that this makes karmic sense. Perhaps Laura too. As I said above, Laura was not at home when the call came; she was making declarations of independence and self-interest, and I wondered if she would blame herself for that, or revert excessively to putting everybody else first. It was a wonderful contrast, too, between Elizabeth and Laura. Elizabeth knew to come to the scene; Laura was at Stefan's, happy, with no sense that something had gone wrong.
Of course, in a perverse moment, I thought of the irony here. When they staged Laura's death in "Twist of Fate," there were two bodies found, and there was some discussion on ratsa of how Luke and Sonny had managed that. That the same trick would be pulled on Luke? Too delicious, in a narrative sort of way.
And back to the easy set-up that this was mob related. It seems to me that Faison made a perfect choice, and the connections to AJ were really nice. The writers did a great job setting this up. Immediately the blame was placed somewhere else, and people weren't even looking past that explanation.
XII. Bobbie Takes Elizabeth Home to Audrey (4/20)
Bobbie: "Elizabeth, I understand what you're saying. But I had to learn something from experience. The last words you say to someone you love aren't what matters. The last words I ever said to my daughter B.J. were "don't forget your coat." Not even "have a good day." I used to want one more chance, and I used to go over and over what I wished I would have said to her. But you know something? B.J. didn't need to hear that. I showed her what she meant to me every day in so many ways. And you showed Lucky. He knew you loved him."
Audrey: "Oh, Elizabeth, I am so sorry I wasn't--oh, my sweetheart. My sweetheart. Oh."
Elizabeth: "Gram, I'm fine."
Audrey: "Oh."
Elizabeth: "I'm going to go put some water on for tea."
Bobbie: "I got to the motorcycle shop as quickly as I could. But Elizabeth was already there."
Audrey: "She wasn't there when it happened?"
Bobbie: "No. No, she was at home, but--apparently they'd already found him."
Audrey: "And the body--was it identifiable as Lucky?"
Bobbie: "He had a subway token around his neck that Elizabeth had given him. Apparently he never took it off. They found Lucky in his bed. He--he had called Elizabeth to say good night. Then he fell asleep. I keep telling myself that he got asphyxiated by the smoke before the--"
Audrey: "Oh, Bobbie. Yes, of course he did. You know he did. You know that. That's--shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Now--now, tell me about Luke and Laura, hmm?"
Bobbie: "Luke--Luke was there, but he left to go find Laura."
Audrey: "Bobbie, is Jerry in town?"
Bobbie: "No, Jerry's out of the country because he had some family business."
Audrey: "Can you call him?"
Bobbie: "Uh-huh. I'm going to call him when I go home. I just wanted to make sure that Elizabeth got home and that she was safe."
Audrey: "Oh, thank you so much for that, but it's time now to take care of you."
Bobbie: "Oh, Audrey, this is going to be such a loss for her."
Audrey: "Oh. Oh, it's a loss for everyone. He was so--he was remarkable. He was--extraordinary."
Bobbie: "How could this have happened?"
Audrey: "Don't know. I honestly, honestly don't know. Now, can I call someone for you? Felicia, perhaps, hmm?"
Bobbie: "Felicia's in Texas right now."
Audrey: "Oh, is she?"
Bobbie: "Yeah. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You might want to call Gail, though, for Elizabeth."
Audrey: "Oh. Ooh, it's after midnight. I'll just see how it goes."
Bobbie: "Thanks, Audrey."
Audrey: "Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you. Would you do me a favor and call me when you get home, hmm?"
Bobbie: "You know, I'm going to try and track down my brother."
Audrey: "Yeah."
Bobbie: "But I will call you in the morning. I want to check and see how she's doing, ok?"
Audrey: "Oh, good. And please call if you need anything, hmm?"
Bobbie: "Ok. Let's both agree to that, ok?"
Audrey: "Right."
Elizabeth: "Where'd Bobbie go?"
Audrey: "She's gone to find Luke. Here, darling. Let me bring the table out."
Elizabeth: "Mr. Spencer was there tonight."
Audrey: "Oh, was he?"
Elizabeth: "He was very upset."
Audrey: "Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey--"
Elizabeth: "Gram, I'm fine. I can do this."
XIII. Laura and Her Children (4/20)
Laura: "It's true."
Nikolas: "Has there--has there been a positive identification?"
Laura: "Yes. Is Lesley Lu sleeping?"
Nikolas: "Yeah. She doesn't know yet. I took the call upstairs. Luke was down here reading to her, and I sent her to bed, then I told Luke."
Laura: "What was Luke doing here?"
Nikolas: "I think he just came here to see Lesley Lu."
Laura: "I didn't know that."
Nikolas: "Come here. Sit down."
Laura: "Please stay with me. Please."
Nikolas: "Ok, ok. I will."
Laura: "Thank you."
Nikolas: "It's ok."
Laura: "Nikolas, I want you to know something. And you may not feel this right now, but Lucky will stay with you. It's true. Because you loved each other, and that part doesn't go away."
Nikolas: "I just think this--this is a whole big, bad dream and I'm going to wake up any second, you know?"
Laura: "I know."
Nikolas: "And we just had dinner together, and we were laughing and everything."
Laura: "Oh. I can picture that. And it was such a blessing to me that I was allowed to see the two of you to become brothers. That struggle and what came out of it--that'll always be in your heart."
Nikolas: "Thanks."
Laura: "Oh, god. Oh, god, please help me. I don't know how to do this. I just don't. I don't know how to do this. Oh, god."
These two scenes were impressive because of a very small thing. Elizabeth announced to Audrey, "I can do this." Luke also said, "I can do this." Laura, on the other hand, broke down into tears saying that she couldn't do it, that she didn't know how to do it. And she would say that line again more than once: "I can't do this, I won't do this," etc. The phrase would come from other people, too, in different versions. It would be the chorus, as it were, to this tragedy; the measure of people's responses.
Laura: "Last night, god sent an angel to take Lucky up to heaven."
Lesley Lu: "He went to heaven?"
Laura: "Yes, he did. Ok?"
XIV. Luke and Bobbie (4/20)
Singer: "It was only one hour ago it was all so different then I think it has really sunk in looks like it always did this flesh and bone it's just the way that we are tied in but there's no one home I'll grieve for you and you'll leave me I'll grieve for you."
Laura: "Ah! [laughter]"
Luke: "Whoo! [dog growls] Honey, I don't like this dog."
Lucky: "Well, look, he'd be really hurt if we sent him away now. He likes it here. You and Foster are going to get along, you know that? Because he's the best dog in the world. Yeah, he is."
Luke: "How would you like to play that scintillating new game--"
Luke and Lucky: "Is your heart in the right place? [Laura laughs]"
Luke: "Come summer, cowboy, you're going to have yourself a sibling."
Lucky: "Really? What kind?"
Luke: "We're hoping for a boy or a girl."
Lucky: "Ok, guys, how'd it happen? See, I'm your big brother. It means it's my job to take care of you. Dad, you know what I want?"
Luke: "What?"
Lucky: "An earring."
Luke: "Hey, pal, this is my little rebellion, not yours."
Lucky: "Oh, what rebellion, dad? Earrings are really in right now. Yeah, I'm identifying with my primary role model."
Luke: "Oh, well, since you put it like that. All right, let's do it."
Lucky: "Cool!"
Luke: "So if you tell me that I've had something to do with the development of a man who I hold in the highest regard, well, that's a blessing. I may be taller, but you are my hero. You are the role model in this family."
Lucky: "How much longer do you think you can keep that taller thing going?"
Luke: "Bobbie. It's you."
I always say that when Luke cries, I cry. When he weeps? I had cried all along, but at this point, I broke down. Luke is the character I sympathize with most, and it was as though his emotional restraint before this had guided my response. When he let go, then, so did I. We talked, some, following these episodes, about the effect of narratives and performances--of how they mediate or suggest our responses:
Amy: "It's an amazing thing. Sometimes, I know I need to watch a particular movie because it will make me cry. Sometimes, I watch movies with happy ending to cry. And I'll be saving these episodes to watch at the very end of my very long days, not only because they are escape--when I watch Luke and others at this level of emotion, I forget about prelims completely--but because they are that emotional release. You once noted, Terry, that you were a bit irked we would have this sad storyline for summer. I think it couldn't come at a better time for me."
"A pyrophobe myself, death by fire would be my last choice, I think. And so this choice of story is particularly touching. All of these people, after all, can't see Lucky's face one last time, as it once was. And somehow that is the worst of it all."
Joan: "In some ways I think soaps or weepy movies or literature act the same way other cultures' ritual mourners do. Their simulated grief releases our own? Just a theory, to lay alongside the traditional Greek model."
Arda: "I often wonder if I'm reacting to the actors' responses or the situation/story/dialogue. I'm never really sure. Sometimes I imagine I'd be moved regardless of the actors, but seeing the actors' reactions is an immediate cue that what I'm feeling is the 'appropriate' response and I go with the flow."
"I remember the professional mourners from Muslim funerals I saw growing up in Syria. I was a child, of course, but I think I understood then that they were there to set the tone for the proceeding."
Joan: "It's a custom I find fascinating. But I have wondered whether its origin comes from ostentation (see how many mourners I can afford), a desire to provide a formalized framework for grief in order to allow the family to unburden, or the thought that these unrelated mourners relieved family from a 'vulgar' duty."
Luke was strong for everybody else until Bobbie found him at Kelly's the next morning. Bobbie was strong for everybody, allowing herself a moment of support from Audrey. The dynamics of support, showed a lot about character in a very subtle way. And the physicality of the grief was very interesting--the fainting, the falling, the weeping, Laura's repeated choking and sickness--contrasted to the self-control of Luke and the later frigid denial/blame of Liz.
His last line, above, was incredible. It was as though he half-expected Lucky to come into the room, or that he expected to have to brace himself again to deal with Laura or the cops or somebody else. The relief on his face and in his voice when it was his sister--who has also lost a child, who has been with him always, who knew where to find him and that he needed her--was incredible. She found him at Kelly's, the last place he had seen Lucky. Laura went home; and I believe that's the last place she saw her son as well.
I absolutely loved that it was Bobbie with whom Luke finally expressed his grief. Theirs is Luke's most consistent relationship, and always comes through. They may quarrel and disappoint each other, but Bobbie the woman who grounds Luke, who gives him soul and hope, who does all those things that he has always attributed to Laura. Laura may have done, may do, those things as well, but Bobbie often goes overlooked in discussions of the way Luke works. I love scenes with the two of them. In fact, when I first started watching and Bobbie was in one her most annoying phases, it was her relationship with Luke that made me take a second look. And it was their scenes that made her one of my favorites.
I hoped that this would bring them back together, and that they wouldn't stay as separated in different plotlines after this. We need them! And he needs her. Moreover, she'll need him, as she always does.
Yet again, here's one day that I would base next year's Emmy on. The man does better work in one day than anybody else, hands down. And Genie too, she's sealed next year with that one episode, at least in my book. They've both done brilliant work, and it bears repeating that everybody has been simply excellent.
XV. Columbine
I mentioned above that these episodes were somewhat broken up by the breaking news of the shooting at Columbine High. The real life deaths and tragedy made the story of Lucky's death more real, perhaps.
I thought that the network handled the breakins well, offering extended highlights from the previous episode at the beginning of the other episodes that week. And yet some people online still complained that there were interruptions in their soap opera. Joan penned the following on ratsa in reply to one such complaint, and her thoughts bear repeating.
"Ask yourself whether you would want your children to live in the world under the belief that they are removed from the possibility of senseless, random violence, or that such senseless, random violence only deserves our attention when it happens within our own immediate circle. If our children learn by our example that the vicarious pleasure obtained from entertainment--any entertainment--has more claim on us than real events--especially when they are directed against children, perhaps we will not have to wonder why they can so easily take human life."
"Life is inconvenient. Messy. Not subject to schedules or easily deferred until a better moment. I can't but think that by complaining that the media spoils our pleasure we send a message that helps to desensitize children to the difference between reality and entertainment. When we can be more outraged by the loss of a part of a soap tragedy than by real tragedy with real consequences, how can that attitude not contribute to a culture in which real life is cheapened and therefore more easily expended."
"GH is very important to me. Obviously. I'm here, writing about it, most days. I get frustrated when I miss it by error or pre-emption. I love to speculate about it and think about the characters and plots. But however moved I am by the events surrounding the 'death' of Lucky Spencer, or the fabulous opportunity it has given the actors to rise superlatively to the challenge, I have to acknowledge that this terrible story is of national, terrible importance. Attention should be paid, and not only when it suits my viewing preference. Certainly I hope I get to see the two missing 10-minute segments lost to me during that pivotal GH episode. But if I don't, my world isn't changed."
"What has changed my world--hundreds of miles away, in a household without children--are the deaths and injuries of those Colorado children, and the real-life grief of their family and friends. It affects me because I am a citizen of this world, and I would hope that you, who do have children, might take a moment out of your viewing day to consider that your own children might want to have a conversation about how such a thing could happen, and why kids are not safe in schools. And it might be a good thing when having that discussion not to begin with a gripe about how inconsiderate the media is to bring real-life bad things into our homes when we are trying to escape."