Jax and Chloe, Ned and Alexis: (cont.)

Alexis: "You never did tell me how A.J. thoroughly crashed and burned."
Ned: "I assumed you knew."

Ned: "Sonny showed up with a handy legal document all ready for A.J. to sign."
Alexis: "Guilty as charged. I just wanted you to bring up the subject first."
Ned: "Mm-hmm. Well, listen, I'm not thrilled that Carly has sole custody of this child. But A.J. brought it on himself. He's nothing if not consistent."

Alexis: "Sounds like you're suspiciously reaching for the broom."
Ned: "Honestly? I'm tempted."

Alexis: "Self-control. Got any to spare?"
Ned: "Am I afraid to ask?"
Alexis: "Stefan. He's in trouble again, and I'm doing everything I can to help."

Ned: "Lucky Spencer is alive?"
Alexis: "I know. Takes a minute."

Alexis: "Once Stefan found out that Helena had taken Lucky, he decided he alone could effect the rescue. He wanted to be the one to bring Laura back her son. He's obsessed. There's no reasoning with him."

Ned: "You tell him no! I mean, what has Stefan ever done for you except treat you like dirt or break your heart?"
Alexis: "You, of all people, should understand what I did here. I mean, he's my brother. And he is--he's fallen apart, and it's not a pretty sight. And I don't know how to say no."
Ned: "Just don't expect too much."
Alexis: "I won't."

Ned: "You're not wearing Jax's wedding ring."
Alexis: "Oh--yeah, I--I took it off when we told his parents that we were getting divorced."
Ned: "Oh."
Alexis: "Oh."
Ned: "Well, I like it. Have you, um, ever thought about taking--moving that ring over to this hand?"
Alexis: "It's crossed my mind."
Ned: "So do you want to?"
Alexis: "What?"
Ned: "What I just asked."
Alexis: "Do you?"
Ned: "I asked you first."
Alexis: "Aren't we mature."
Ned: "No, just very neurotic."
Alexis: "Is that a proposal?"
Ned: "Yes."
Alexis: "That's my line."
Ned: "Is that your answer?"
Alexis: "Yes."
Alexis: "Are we engaged?"
Ned: "Not yet. Now we're engaged."

Alexis looked stunning, in a long brown coat over a skirt. When Ned arrives, she's in glasses, and takes his coat. She won't look him in the eye at first, because she's just met with Stefan, looks at him over her glasses as they sit down. Later, they sit down side by side again, and she lets out a big stunned sigh as he takes her hand. They hesitate, but then share a big hug and kiss. I was struck by the comparison of these rings to Carly's. She's substituted Jason's rings for AJ's, the real for the fake, as it were. Now so has Alexis. And Carly would later debate the meaning of Sonny's rings, and whether she would wear them, providing a nice contrast for Alexis's own worries over her future with Ned.

I liked the promise of some conflict between them over their respective families, as well as the assurance that they weren't going to let go of each other completely, no matter what happened. This was a fabulous proposal. But as much as I adore these two as a romantic couple, please can they have something more to do?

VII. Lady Jane Steps In (3/16)

Terry: "Lady Jane is one cold creature, isn't she? It's all about Jax, of course. I think he should have kicked her butt out. But I did find it interesting that she brought up dear departed Miranda. And I wish Chloe had not been quite so calmly forgiving of the old biddy. I mean, really, the woman just asked her to please be so kind, if she finds she is dying, to drag herself off to do so alone so as not to burden poor Jax, who has been through this before."

Judy: "It just made me like Chloe even less, the spineless twit *g*. I was cheering for Lady Jane in that scene: 'Yes! Please! Make her go away!' She (Lady Jane...forget the name of the actress) was wonderful while doing it, too. At least she added some interest into what would've been otherwise a totally maudlin display of unconditional luuuuuuv for this shallow creature her son's fixated on. And she was right on the money about Jax falling for damsels in distress. The closer to death they are, the faster his big, dumb heart beats! *G*"

Joan: "I'm awfully fond of her, but I confess to being bored with Chloe's never-ending catalog of woes. From dubious economic peril to hit-and-run to blindness to zzzzzzzzzzzzz--oh, sorry."

Amy: "Lordie. After the pathetic writing that had Gertrude knocking over poor Chloe (which later, we found, might have contributed to her condition), I'm already tired of it. And if Chloe tries to leave the hospital one more time, being stopped by more bad news, I'm just going to puke."

"Again, this doesn't fit with a show that is right now all about families with parents, children, relatives, etc. all the time--they're the fish out of water, because they have no family, basically. And because the storyline is inane, it just adds to the difference between their scenes and the others."

"Jax and Chloe about couples--two people facing commitment. The only time we get a complicated, as in more than two people, etc., family dynamic is when Ned or Alexis is dealing with theirs. Jane and John were on and off so quickly that it was very clear that the powers that be weren't interested in the family dynamics there. The theme is couplehood, not extended family."

Arda: "Don't you want to just grab Chloe and shake her--really hard? She is a complete twit. Lady Jane is a ruthless mama, though I find her position more understandable than Chloe's 'beat me, kick me, I'll still smile and make nice' attitude. Of course, Lady Jane sees only that her chivalrous son rides to the rescue and gets repeatedly hurt. She doesn't see the payoff Jax gets from controlling the lives of these damsels."

Joan: "I love Lady Jane, and I suppose she's just being her idea of a good mother, but I'd hate to be in love with any son of hers!"

Terry: "Even I have thrown up my hands in despair over the Chloe crap. She had such potential when she arrived; I swear she did. But she's been 'Jax-ized,' turned into a walking collection of illnesses and problems so Jax can hold her hand, and that makes me puke. So now we just give her a ticking time bomb in her head and move on, conveniently spring it when/if that becomes useful plot-wise? What junk. And it sounds suspiciously like the 'Brenda may have a death sentence hanging over her' stuff. Hate it."

Joan: "Feh to the nth degree! I'm reminded of Thelma Ritter's great line from All About Eve on hearing Eve's litany of her hard luck story: 'Everything but the bloodhounds snapping at her rear.' And soooo not interesting."

VIII. The Perils of Pauline (3/17)

From Terry's ratsa update for this episode: "For the record, there was no reference to St. Pat's on the show. Let's do this one by stories rather than scene-by-scene. Except for an excellent scene with Bobbie and Roy at the end, it was a fairly ho-hum episode. There was a lot of Sonny/Carly banter, but it was somehow off-kilter. And we got some nicely awkward stuff between Mac and Felicia as they try to reconnect."

"The Perils of Pauline, er, Chloe: Jax and Chloe open the show by snuggling on the dock. She's not in any rush to meet Tony Jones for her test results. Ultimately, they do make it to the hospital, where Tony tells them her tumor is not malignant. Later still in the program, Tony has a 'but' to add; the tumor could grow and render her permanently blind. This story was weird--three brief scenes that seemed hastily executed, making it hard to invest in Chloe's plight. It's also hard to get worked up about her latest problem because they have been throwing these melodramatic developments at us with such regularity: 'mean old Gertrude wants to steal Chloe's company,' 'mean old Helena runs Chloe down,' 'poor Chloe survives, but she's blind,' 'mean old Gertrude snatches Chloe's company while she's blind,' 'Chloe recovers her sight, only to be struck by a blinding headache, which turns out to signal a tumor.' Give the girl, and the audience, a break."

IX. Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right (3/20)

Alexis: "He left town even though Scorpio told him not to. What's wrong?"
Ned: "It's A.J. I just stopped him from ordering a drink."

Alexis: "Do you want to go find him?"
Ned: "No, no, no. I can't do that every single time. I made sure he left here sober. After that, he has to be accountable for his own actions. It's just Emily and grandmother that I'm worried about."

Ned: "You know, why is it that so many of my favorite people seem to fall under the spell of Sonny? First Brenda, then Jason, now you."
Alexis: "I'm not under his spell. I just think he has a right to be a father."
Ned: "Really? Because he sent Brenda to a mental ward? Because he hired teenagers to strip at his club?"
Alexis: "What's your point? Maybe he's changed."
Ned: "Alexis. Oh, was it the new Sonny who jumped in the sack with Carly, who happened to be married at the time, and drove his best friend away?"

Alexis: "You know, I know that you really don't want to hear this, but I keep telling myself that that hit-and-run had nothing to do with me, but I still think that it's all my fault."
Ned: "That's you wanting to try to fix a situation you can't. Kind of like working with Sonny."
Alexis: "I'm not trying to fix Sonny. Are you trying to emotionally manipulate me?"
Ned: "Uh-huh. It's one of my many talents."
Alexis: "I love you to the point of distraction, but I will n let you manipulate or arbitrate my career. I will, however, let you buy me dinner."
Ned: "You know, before Chloe called, I made a very good point about Sonny."
Alexis: "Let's just drop it."

This is actually about Jax and Chloe's scenes this day. I was amazed at what a great staff the hotel has, since the candles were already lit when Jax and Chloe got home. They were in the bedroom, I think, or at least not the front room. Jax went for champagne and Chloe fell asleep in the chair (what do these two have against beds?). Jax returned, watched her sleep for a minute, covered her with a blanket and kissed her head, and then left. Chloe dreamed of her accident.

X. Bad Dreams and Future Plans (3/21)

Chloe: "I was driving. I was looking at myself in the headlights. I saw the fear in my own eyes. Oh, god, I was just--Tony said that my condition could bring on dreams, right?"

Chloe: "There were two. There was--they were the same dream. And the first one was in black and white, and then this one just now was in color. And both of them ended right before the car was about to hit me. Why can't I get through that moment?"
Jax: "You just went through a trauma. I mean, why wouldn't you want to protect yourself from reliving it?"

Chloe: "You look exactly like you did the first time I saw you--holding a glass of champagne."
Jax: "Well, I was wearing a few more clothes."

Jax: "You know, it could be like this all the time if we lived together."
Chloe: "What?"
Jax: "Well, we would never have to say good-bye again. We--move in with me."

Chloe: "Move in with you? But I'm still married to Ned."
Jax: "I'm still married to Alexis."
Chloe: "Well, what are people going to think?"
Jax: "Do we care?"
Chloe: "No."

Chloe: "I've never lived with anyone before."
Jax: "Liar. You lived with Ned."
Chloe: "That doesn't count."
Jax: "Am I picking up some hesitation here?"
Chloe: "Jax, you are the most caring person I've ever met. But you don't have to watch over me for 24 hours a day just because I'm sick."
Jax: "Chloe, Chloe, no--"
Chloe: "No, I don't want that for you, and I certainly don't want that for me. When I dreamed about living with someone, I want it to be like--like it was with Lila and Edward. I want it to be for love and hopefully for keeps."
Jax: "And I'm not that someone?"
Chloe: "You are that someone. And if things were different--"
Jax: "But things are perfect just the way they are. If we wait, who knows? When I was sitting beside you in the hospital, I made a promise to myself and whoever else was listening up there that if you lived that I wouldn't waste a moment of the time that we could spend together. I've lost enough in my life, and so have you. Yet somehow we still managed to find each other, and magic happened. I want to hold on to that. So, move in with me, Chloe. Let me prove to you that Edward and Lila are not the only lovers that can have it all."
Chloe: "That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me."
Jax: "So, do I start clearing out your side of the closet, then?"
Chloe: "You do. Tonight. I'll help."

Jax and Chloe actually ended up in the bed! Oh, but then they ended up in the floor. *G*

XI. Come Back to the Five and Dime, Eddie Maine (3/22)

Ned: "We need someone to hit the road right now."
Alexis: "We need someone who already has product, that doesn't have to start from scratch."
Ned: "And L&B gets everything."
Alexis: "Someone who has experience, that has a following."
Ned: "Who can get the cash flowing our way."
Alexis: "Someone who could sing a ballad and then everybody falls in love with them right away."
Ned: "Wait a minute."
Alexis: "Someone who has their own backstage groupie. 'Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!'"
Ned: "Or I go back to E.L.Q. grandfather says he'll underwrite everything if i do."
Alexis: "And you believe him?"
Ned: "He's desperate."
Alexis: "They always are."

Ned: "Your family does trump mine."
Alexis: "I love it when you get competitive."
Ned: "You just love me."
Alexis: "I do."
Ned: "Kiss me."
Alexis: "Kiss me."
Elizabeth: "You guys are so funny when you do that."
Alexis: "Do what? What is she talking about?"
Ned: "I have no idea. What are you talking about, Elizabeth?"

Ned: "Word's out about her health."
Elizabeth: "Well, nobody's actually been saying that, but I think Gertrude figured out how to use e-mail."

Ned: "Chloe has more important things to worry about than cash flow."
Alexis: "We knew that she wouldn't be able to bail us out."
Elizabeth: "You two are amazing."
Alexis: "This is how we look when we're terrified."
Ned: "We'll think of something."
Alexis: "We always do."

I do love Alexis and Ned. As Elizabeth walked in on their kiss, Alexis quickly moved away from Ned. She wiped lipstick off his cheek, and then came to put her arm around him when Elizabeth said they're amazing, rolling her eyes after her last line above. Too cute! And as I note elsewhere, I enjoyed the continuing blocking throughout several episodes this month of couples sitting side by side on sofas. When they moved to the conference table, they sat side by side as well.

Elizabeth: "Can I help you guys with anything?"
Alexis: "You haven't been a secret rock star all this time, have you?"

Ned: "What we need is a miracle."
Elizabeth: "That's all I'm waiting for."
Alexis: "I know."

Nikolas: "You know that promoter in New York?"
Alexis: "The one with the pink hair that has a crush on you?"
Nikolas: "Yeah, well, she wants to book an L&B act to open for a major band for an entire east coast tour and possibly some dates in the fall."
Ned: "Miguel is not an opening act."
Nikolas: "She wants Eddie Maine."

Alexis: "Surely Eddie Maine could survive one more tour."

Ned: "Who runs L&B while I'm gone?"
Alexis: "Why do you think god made the Internet and cell phones?"

Ned: "Eddie Maine doesn't exist anymore."

Nikolas: "I don't get it. L&B needs the money. Eddie Maine can bring it in. What's the problem?"
Elizabeth: "Sometimes you can't always go back to where you were."
Nikolas: "But Eddie Maine was great."
Elizabeth: "When you have something that special, sometimes it's impossible to believe you'll ever have it again."

Joan: "A lot of L&B blah blah about Ned refusing to save his company by donning leather pants. Everyone wonders why he won't. Isn't anyone going to make the connection that it is too close to Lois?"

Continue to Next Page of Review

Back to Front Page of Issue

Back to Top