Felicia's problem is fueled by an internal conflict. On the one hand, she sincerely loves her husband and family; on the other hand, she is unable to ignore her feelings for Luke. Although she has stopped just short of having sex with Luke, she has been enmeshed and preoccupied with Luke for the past year. The emotional truth of the relationship between Felicia and Luke is evident to Mac and Laura, both of whom believe that Felicia and Luke are having an affair.

If I were to think of one word to describe Felicia, the word would be "girlfriend." Although she's an Aztec Princess who's been stalked (twice!), kidnapped (twice!), and has suffered from amnesia (twice!), she has an unpretentious, familiar, everywoman quality. She empathizes with others, lends her ears, and gives practical and down-to-earth advice. When Mac tried to keep Robin from seeing Stone, for example, Felicia saw the futility in trying to keep the teenagers apart and discussed safe sex with Robin. She's patient and forgiving, placing greater value on her friendships than on the mistakes her friends have made. When Tony kidnapped Michael and was ostracized by Port Charles society, Felicia stood by her friend and one-time brother-in-law, recognizing that the man who had kidnapped Michael was the same caring man who had donated BJ's heart to Maxie and made it possible for Felicia's daughter to live.

A list of Felicia's friends would be almost identical to a list of Port Charles residents. Felicia has been a steadfast friend to Anna, Bobbie, Robin, Lucy, V, Tammy, and Chloe. She's been a friend to Robert, Sean, Decker, Ryan, Kevin, Jagger, Stone, Tony, and Alan. She's been a friend to both Luke and Laura. And she's been a friend to her mates and lovers: Frisco, Colton, Tom Hardy, and Mac. On General Hospital, Felicia has been the embodiment of friendship, companionship, and loyalty.

So how did this loving and loyal woman come to be shunned by her husband, daughters, and grandmother? Why is Laura so resentful of Felicia who has risked life and limb to help Luke (and Laura) find Lucky? How did Felicia come to be torn between her husband Mac and her friend Luke? Felicia had simply wanted to help Luke, first by distracting him from his grief for Lucky and then by helping him search for Lucky. And yet the very qualities of friendship and loyalty that have made Felicia an endearing protagonist for many years have now turned her world upside down. How could Felicia abandon her children and husband for the sake of helping her friend Luke? How could Felicia risk the security of her marriage and family for an uncertain relationship with Luke? Is Felicia the latest "victim" of Headwriter Bob Guza's deconstruction campaign?

Guza is indeed fond of deconstructing characters, but Felicia’s current quandary is entirely consistent with her history. While not all of Felicia’s conflicted feelings toward men would fit the classic soap triangle, she has, in the past, been torn between Colton and Frisco, Mac and Ryan Chamberlain (before she realized he was a serial killer), Mac and Kevin Collins, Mac and Frisco, and Mac and Tom Hardy. Interestingly, Mac figures in most of these conflicts, and yet until recently, Mac has never forced Felicia to make a choice. Through the years, while she’s been torn between men, Mac has been her supportive friend, patiently standing by. For example, when Maxie was seriously ill, it was Mac who traveled to Africa, found Frisco (who was on a WSB assignment), and brought him to Port Charles so he could see his dying daughter. It was Mac who noticed the intensity of feeling between Felicia and Frisco, and realizing Felicia would never love him as intensely, Mac called off their engagement.

Before she ever met Mac Scorpio, however, Felicia had already experienced a turbulent tug of feelings toward two men. In this article, I’d like to focus on Felicia’s first (and most clearly delineated) conflict: the choice between Frisco and Colton. Felicia met Frisco Jones in 1984 and married him in 1986. The following year, Frisco left on an assignment for the WSB, promising to return to Felicia. In 1988, Felicia received word that Frisco had been killed. With the help of Frisco’s brother Tony and Colton Shore, Felicia was able to grieve for Frisco and plan on a new life with Colton. Shortly before Felicia’s wedding to Colton, the presumed dead Frisco escaped from jail and headed back to Port Charles. He arrived just in time to see Felicia marry Colton. When a shocked Felicia discovered that Frisco was alive, she told Frisco that although she had loved and still loved him, she had grieved for his loss and her life was now with her new husband. Since her marriage to Colton was not legal (now that Frisco was alive), she pressed for a divorce from Frisco. Once her divorce was final, however, Felicia did not re-marry Colton. She chose, instead, to leave town for a while to clear her head. Since Frisco’s return, both Frisco and Colton had been urging her to choose, and Felicia, torn by her love for both men, needed time away to sort her feelings.

On her way out of town, Felicia, while on foot, was hit by a motorcycle. The motorcycle rider (Decker Moss) and his girlfriend helped an unconscious Felicia off the road and into a cabin. When Felicia came to, she didn't know who she was. Looking around the cabin, she found items belonging to a "Phoebe Dawson." (Phoebe was the name of Decker's girlfriend who bolted.) Believing she was Phoebe, Felicia spent an adventurous summer with Decker. Meanwhile, Frisco and Colton searched for Felicia. By the time Colton and Frisco caught up with her, Felicia had regained her memory, but because she dreaded making a choice between the two men, she faked a continued amnesia.

Although Felicia resisted making a conscious choice, she made a spontaneous choice when faced with danger. At a Halloween party at Wyndemere, (also attended by Frisco and Colton), Felicia was pursued by a headless horseman (the villainous Jimmy O'Herlihy in costume) who was after a cameo Felicia wore around her neck. Feeling threatened, Felicia yelled for Frisco, who rushed to her aid. Colton, who was nearby, was crushed as he realized that Felicia had chosen Frisco.

In the Frisco/Felicia/Colton triangle, Felicia played a largely passive role. She did not cause the events that left her torn between Frisco and Colton. Although she still loved Frisco, she moved on with Colton, after honestly believing that Frisco was dead. Her love for a dead husband did not conflict with her love for a new husband. Once Frisco returned, however, Felicia's genuine love for Frisco collided with her genuine love for Colton. In the Mac/Felicia/Luke triangle, Felicia's role has been more active. Although she did not consciously wish to disrupt her marriage, she has for some time been aware that her desire to be with Luke is not simply a wish to help a friend. She has on several occasions lied to Mac (about being with Luke) for seemingly sensible reasons. Felicia knows, however, that by lying to Mac about being with Luke, she's lying about the nature of her relationship with Luke. Felicia's current dilemma is of her doing; neither Mac nor Luke is responsible for Felicia's dilemma. Mac has been an understanding supportive spouse who even forgave Felicia after viewing the tape (showing Luke and Felicia about to make love) made by Faison. Luke is perhaps less innocent than Mac, but he has always made it clear to Felicia that the substance of their relationship is entirely dependent on Felicia's desires.

So what does Felicia want? When torn between Frisco and Colton, she first wanted to stay with Colton because he was now her husband. Felicia's socially conditioned response was to choose Colton. After spending the summer with Decker Moss, believing (and pretending) to be Phoebe, Felicia instinctively chose Frisco. Today she is torn between Mac who represents family and stability, and Luke who represents adventure and the unknown. If we rely on Felicia's past history, we may assume that Felicia's instinctive choice would be Luke. But life is more complicated now for Felicia because she has two daughters who love and are loved by Mac. The choice for Felicia isn't just between two men, but between her family and a man.

In fact, Felicia's real problem may be that she doesn't really have a choice. Both Colton and Frisco wanted Felicia. Despite her inability to make a conscious choice, Felicia still had the controlling privilege. In the current situation, Mac has made it clear that the marriage is over. The only one asking Felicia to make a choice is Luke, but the choice he's given her is not the choice between two men. Luke is physically attracted to Felicia and he would like to have a sexual relationship with her. He's willing to have the relationship on her terms--he's willing to be her "man on the side"--but he doesn't want to be Felicia's buddy. So regardless of how deeply conflicted Felicia may be internally, in the exterior world she may well be out of choices.

Perhaps it is fitting, however, that Felicia's conflict be an internal tug-of-heart. Felicia's conflict is not so much between two men and the worlds they symbolize, but a conflict between aspects of Felicia herself. Felicia and Luke had this revealing conversation when they were in Mexico:

LUKE: You got this great cover. You're this beautiful woman with two gorgeous kids, and you never miss a PTA meeting. And underneath that gentle cover is this wild spirit who needs to sneak across the border sometimes or be out there closer to the edge.
FELICIA: Is that what we're doing here?
LUKE: Maybe. Maybe. Maybe we're just the last two surviving members of a dying breed, trying to find our way back home.
FELICIA: That's what scares me. You feel like home to me -that reckless part of me, that spirit that I go looking for. When I was working on Lila's book, I--I thought that you needed me, that I was being your friend because you needed a distraction.
LUKE: No, but that's true.
FELICIA: No, not really. Because it's this place that we go, this--the disguise and the being trapped in a crypt and being locked in a Mexican prison. It's very dangerous, but very familiar, too.
LUKE: Is that what you want?
FELICIA: When I asked you if I could come on this trip, you didn't tell me to go home and bake some cookies.
LUKE: I hate cookies.
FELICIA: You also didn't warn me that it was going to be dangerous. You just said, "OK, come on. Let's go." And here we are. I felt like I found an old friend.
LUKE: Well, maybe you did.
FELICIA: But, no, not -not you. Me. Myself. I've been looking for that girl for such a long time.
LUKE: Well, you found her. Does it scare you?
FELICIA: I am that mother of the PTA that has the kids. But it's not a cover because I love my husband.
LUKE: I know.
FELICIA: Well, then, what am I doing here? Why is it that you see this spirit in me that no one else even notices? And I've only known you for a couple of months, really. What does that just say about me?
LUKE: It says you have bizarre taste in partners.

It's time for Felicia to become re-acquainted with the friend she found in Mexico. It's time for Felicia to understand that her longings for two different men represent aspects of herself that she needs to honor and nurture. The answer to Felicia's problem is neither Mac nor Luke. By this I don't mean that she shouldn't try to reconcile with Mac, or that she shouldn't pursue a relationship with Luke, but that regardless of which man she's with, Felicia needs to understand that the battlefield is her own self. Felicia needs to stop looking in the "Luke mirror" to see a reflection of Felicia, the wild spirit, and she needs to stop looking in the "Mac and family" mirror to see a reflection of Felicia, wife and mother. Felicia needs to look inside and revel in her complexity--that she can be wife, and mother, and granddaughter, and friend, and wild spirit--and cherish her multiple facets.

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