My Dinner with Andreas

"As comfortable as one can be, under the circumstances. I expected to be serving you dinner, not joining you at the table."

"But I understand that you dined with your former employer quite frequently."

"True. But even then, I was providing a service."

"Ah yes. You were also her companion...her confidante..."

"...among other duties..."

"...which shall remain nameless. Bear in mind that she is my mother."

"Of course, Master Cassadine."

"Please, on this occasion, call me Stefan."

"As you wish."

"I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to join me. It is not normal procedure for me to dine with my servants."

"That explains the cold looks from Rheese and Gibbons. And I am curious about that, yes."

"As you're no doubt well aware, Andreas, my mother and I have a rather adversarial relationship. She and I rarely speak, and when we do, our dialogue is of a dissimulative nature. You, on the other hand, have had the benefit of her candor, and access to information that might be useful to me."

"Perhaps...but there is no way of knowing how long ago she realized that I was betraying her by speaking with you. She may have been deceiving me as well, hoping that I would feed you false information."

"True, but don't you think that you would have gone the way of your brother Ari, had she known prior to your leaving her employ?"

"I...I suppose so...."

"Forgive me. That was insensitive. I know what it's like to lose a brother, and you have my deepest sympathy."

"Thank you."

"Were the two of you close?"

"Years ago, we were inseparable. We were both groomed as Madame's personal servants and we shared her--I mean, those duties--equally. It was quite a blow to me when Madame chose Ari alone to accompany her to Port Charles, and my relationship with my brother was never the same. After his death I couldn't help but feel guilty, not only because of the distance between us, but because I benefited from his demise."

"I understand completely. I had much to gain after my brother's death, as well."

"So I was told."

"Really? What did my mother have to say about that?"

"I must admit that I feel quite uncomfortable repeating Madame's words to you. She is not--shall we say--politely vague in her criticism. Please remember that these are her words, not mine."

"Of course."

"She refers to you often as the 'parasitic prince,' as one who reaps the benefits of being a Cassadine while disregarding the needs of the rest of the family. She regards the death of Stavros followed by your usurpation of the family throne as--I believe these are her exact words--'a horrendous rent in the Cassadine fabric.'"

"Such a poetic-sounding metaphor emanating from such a prosaic source...."

"Madame is many things, but I'd not call her prosaic. She can be very expressive when she needs to be...."

"Ah yes, she's a regular bard, I'm sure. I do hope that your high opinion of her does not extend far beyond her pretty words."

"Of course not! I am now well-aware of the fact that she murdered my brother, and for that I'll never forgive her. And I have pledged myself to your service, an oath I do not take lightly, unlike Mrs. Lansbury. But I must admit that Madame has certain...aesthetic qualities...that I find appealing, nonetheless."

"No doubt. Even I had fallen victim to her spell when I was a young child, wanting her approval more than anything in the world. But surely, Andreas, it must have been difficult for you to maintain the facade of obedience and duty after I told you of her true nature."

"Yes, but I must also confess that I found it surprisingly difficult to leave her, when the time was finally right. And if I may be so bold as to venture that surely, there have been times in your life when love and loathing have sat side-by-side, one a near-twin of the other, indistinguishable in the moment...."

"Yes! With my mother, Katherine, and now, Laura: only in retrospect was the division made clear. Oh Andreas! How I have longed to have such conversations with my own flesh-and-blood! But my nephew Nikolas barely has time for me anymore, and when he does speak, his discourse is littered with contractions and amorphous truisms, as if he's abandoned his old world roots and embraced the superficiality of his American friends. In a sense, I lost him as my son long before the results of the latest DNA test. He's like a stranger to me now...."

"I am sorry to hear that, Master Stefan."

"Please, 'Stefan' will do. Ah, would that you could refer to me antecedently, and that we were bonded by more than the meager ties which exist between employer and employee. Tell me Andreas, do you know your father well?"

"I didn't know my father at all. I was told that he and my mother died when Ari and I were infants."

"So he could just as well have been me!"

"I beg your pardon, Sir?"

"Call me Stefan! Please! Look at our reflection in the silver serving tray! Can't you see the resemblance?"

"I...uh...suppose it would be fruitless to inform you that this feels a bit awkward...."

"Don't be obtuse! In appearance, manner, and bearing, you are more like a prince than Nikolas is. You could be my son!"

"But don't you think that that scenario is unlikely? I mean, really, the odds are quite against such a coincidence...."

"Nonsense! My ex-wife Barbara and her gangster lover have both had offspring conjured from the ranks of immigrants like yourself; Nikolas arrived in Port Charles as the previously-unknown son of Laura Spencer, entering a state of flux between 'my nephew' and 'my son'; and Alexis began her tenure here as my cousin and is now my sister. Given the mercurial nature of genetics and the proliferation of such hopelessly entangled family trees, I daresay the odds of you not being related to someone in Port Charles are slim. Therefore, I heartily accept you as my son, having been bereft of one for lo, these many months."

"Sir--I mean--Stefan: while I'm flattered that you would consider me worthy of such a title and position, I can't help but think that you're merely trying to replace the son you lost, in both a genetic and spiritual sense, in the same manner that you sought your mother's surrogate love in Katherine and Laura...."

"This is not about me, it concerns the Cassadines! Nikolas is no longer interested in being the heir, or in preserving the integrity of our family. It would be a small matter to get him to sign over the rights of his position to you, provided that he be allowed to claim a share of the inheritance. Then you and I could rule this family as father and son!"

"But Stefan...I..."

"Dispense with 'Stefan'! Call me 'father'! You will be the son I've always wished for! The son who uses polysyllabic words! The son who does not shirk his royal duties for some silly little recording company! The son who will accept and bring honor to the family mantle!"

"The son who had 'relations' with his grandmother on the family's mantel...."

[A momentary silence]

"Take this tray and clear the table. I will be expecting breakfast at 7:00. I trust that you can make a decent scone?"

"Of course, Master Cassadine...."

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