GH and PC in Review: August by Amy McWilliams

View a section by clicking on the links below, or read the entire review by scrolling down. The review takes up 7 separate pages, but the navigation at the top and bottom of each remains consistent.

General Hospital

The Spencers

Luke and Laura

Lucky and Elizabeth

Bobbie

Port Charles

The Quartermaines

• The family prepares for Alan and Monica's anniversary celebration with Emily and Edward bickering over his phone treatment of her agents, but Alan is nowhere to be found. AJ worries, but Alan shows up and claims he was at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. (8/17)
• Monica finds out that Taggert has notified the medical board that one of the doctors at GH is on drugs. Despite her protests, he gives her a tape recorder for her conversations with Justus. She still doesn't get anything incriminating. (8/18)
• When Nikolas asks her what he can do to repay her for her support through his Uncle's trial, Emily invites him to go to her photo shoot. (8/19)
• Edward took Emily to her photo shoot, complaining all the way, but when he saw her work he gave her his support. Nikolas came as well, much to Emily's delight, and complimented her work. Edward warned the boy to treat Emily well. (8/20)
• Edward decides that the car bombing is a new way to claim custody of Michael. Meanwhile, Alan appears to be in withdrawal, but is really stoned. He flinches under Monica's reassuring words of praise and tries not to take another pill. Taggert arrives to taunt Monica and she is undecided about whether or not to give him the tape of Justus's confession and says nothing. (8/25)
• AJ overhears Monica listening to the tape of Justus, but she lies to him to explain it away. (8/27)
• Justus confronts Edward about the custody claim, and Edward tells him that they are very much alike. Justus doesn't agree, but Edward tells him that they want the same things. Justus, however, has let his weaknesses take over, and he will therefore fall. (8/27)
• Taggert arrives to see Monica and she's ready for him...with a bribe. He turns it down, despite her ranting, and realizes that she's got something in her purse when she returns to the room to retrieve it rather than leaving it with him. He finds the tape. Monica takes her anger out on Edward for his treatment of Jason. (8/28)
• Alan meets with Tammy again but can't perform. He returns home to Monica. (8/31)

These two weeks at the Quartermaine mansion began with Monica and Alan's anniversary. But as everything Quartermaine these days, the anniversary fell flat. I was reminded of the last one, at which we saw all the flashbacks or the one where Monica was facing surgery. This one just seemed so much of the same stuff, with AJ making calls about Alan while trying not to upset Emily and Edward and Lila and the rest doing the same scene we've already seen a hundred times. And Alan's return and his subsequent bowing out of anniversary sex went by smoothly. I wanted a fight, perhaps, or some emotional scene--any crisis of some sort.

Edward: "Mm-hmm. And this frame is solid gold. High level of purity, so I'm told. And, you know, if you ever decide to melt it down, you could live quite nicely for some time on this, should you give in to the urge to flee us all."
Emily: "This looks like a deed to something."
Monica: "Yes, to this house, Em, which your grandfather has always insisted is his. Believe me, it's a long story."
Edward: "You know, thank god my son has you. And I mean that. And if you ever decide to dump him, which he so richly deserves, I hope you'll do me the honor of dumping some arsenic in my coffee."
Monica: "Well, I can't divorce Alan if there's any chance I may have to remarry him. I mean, three anniversaries a year is more than anyone should have to bear."

The best moments were the small ones with the presents: Edward's framed deed to the house for Monica and Emily's picture (although I did find myself hoping that this would put a stop to the now-lame repetition of the quarrel over the ownership), chosen from the scrapbook Jason's making for Carly of daily pictures of Michael. Her explanation that Jason doesn't know to stand still when taking photos but that she chose a picture he took anyway, despite the blurry-ness, was charming.

Emily's modeling continued to bore me, and even the potentially amusing combination of Edward and Nikolas at her photo shoot didn't succeed with me. Perhaps it is that neither Nikolas nor Emily entertain or engage me in general, so the feature of them together doesn't appeal to me either. On top of that, Tyler Christopher no longer plays a convincing teenager for me--or he does it so rarely that I forget. Because of that, Nikolas has lost what little charm he had for me. And Emily, while convincing in her crush, drives me nuts with her whining, which may be a matter of writing, rather than of performance. But the scenes seem like filler, and if I were one to fast-forward, I would most certainly be fast-forwarding this storyline. (I will admit that I enjoy her moments with "Mr. Cassadine," but that's only because they remind me of the younger girl she once was.)

The scenes between Monica and Taggert are barely better. What promised to be an entertaining sequence has, by now, been drug out so long that I've ceased to care. Every encounter is the same; I can recite the dialogue by now. I don't believe Monica's dilemma, and I'd like to see her reasoning as to why she doesn't just tell Jason. Perhaps it's because she doesn't think he'll lift a finger to help Alan, but I'd still like to see her decide that--or try and fail.

And, finally, Edward. He's still spinning out his vaguely defined plots to steal Michael away from Jason, but the punch has been taken out of that too. How many times will he try? And how many times will we have to watch?

The Qs are underused, and when they do appear they are a mere shadow of their former selves. They play out their on-screen time doing the same scenes over and over and over, and there's no end in sight. While the timeline on Alan's addiction may be realistic, they've got to bring that to a climax or risk losing all interest and pacing. I'm bored to death of the Qs, and that's definitely not how it should be.

Now for some particular Q moments:

Monica: "This all began with that god-awful accident. We have never been the same since then. I mean, life with the Quartermaines wasn't always idyllic, that's for sure, but at least we knew where our places were and we were expected to say and do the proper things. Now this nightmare--oh, honey, I'm sorry A.J., I didn't mean that."
A.J.: "Yes, you did. And you're right."
Monica: "Look, we can't do anything about the past. But we can affect the future, and you've done that. I am so proud of the way you've pulled yourself together. Believe me, I have a great deal of respect for the person that you've become."

Edward: "He is a one-man Armageddon."

A.J.: "Well, if peace is the goal for our family, I suggest we search for it independently."

I would think that the hardest thing AJ has to face is the fact that his parents truly believe bad things about him. Sure, he may know that his mom meant her kind words to him, but he also knows that she means the first complaint too. He knows that he is responsible for much of this, and he knows that his family deals with it every day. Most of them don't even make the attempt to give the revision that Monica gives here.

Monica: "It's so easy to love somebody when they're thinking clearly and they're confident and they have their dignity. And heaven knows I have loved you so very much during all those times. I guess the true test and the challenge is when your partner has fallen out of step, when he's down and he doesn't know quite how to get back up. Well, I've met that challenge. And I want you to know that I love you right now, problems and all, as much as I ever have."
Alan: "I don't deserve you, Monica. I really don't."
Monica: "You were there for me. Now it's my turn. [pager beeps] got to get that. It's the hospital. I got to go."

Speaking of hollow declarations, the irony here made me laugh out loud.

Edward: "I've been watching you carefully, Justus. You are a restless, dissatisfied man, and you probably will be for the rest of your life."
Justus: "You have no idea what kind of man I am."
Edward: "Oh, yes, I do, young man, because I'm the same kind."

Edward: "I have never been satisfied in my life. Everything I do, everyone I touch, ultimately comes up short in my opinion. And I've noticed the same impulses in you, Justus. And they worry me."
Justus: "Don't bother."
Edward: "That's the difference between us. I acknowledge my weakness, and I control it. You deny your weakness, and it controls you."
Justus: "The only thing we have in common are a few strands of DNA Anything else exists in your mind."
Edward: "You listen to me, Justus. I'm telling you the truth. The man who doesn't know himself is on a collision course with destruction."

I would have loved to see OldJustus play this one out. As it is, I'm glad we got to see Edward with Justus, as well as his non-blustering side. He had Justus's number, I think, and Justus would do well to pay attention.

And finally, a parting quip from one of the lovely scenes with Tammy (the supporting players in Alan's drug storyline have really stolen the scene for me--the dealer and Tammy, who is a delight!):

Tammy: "Well, I was wondering when you were going to call. But, Roy, this--this place, this part of town. What, have you taken up missionary work?"
Alan: "No, but I thought it was high time I took up the missionary position."