GH and PC in Review: August by Amy McWilliams

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General Hospital

The Spencers

Luke and Laura

Lucky and Elizabeth

Bobbie

Port Charles

General Hospital

• Laura takes the stand at Stefan's trial. She admits to being a witness to Katherine's fall, but she denies any romantic involvement with Stefan. She says she was at the ball for Nikolas's sake. Although she answers all of the questions satisfactorily, at the end of her testimony, Luke dashes out of the room and she runs after him. Alexis has to stop Stefan from running after her. Nikolas is thrilled that his mother chose him, while Stefan sees a vision of Katherine saying the same thing. (8/17)
• Afterwards, Helena taunts Stefan with the thought that he had been saved by the woman of his dreams. He promises her that she will pay for Katherine's death. She is not impressed. (8/17)
• Stefan is found not guilty, and Alexis is thrilled. (8/19)
• Helena next taunts Luke about the failure of his plan with Alexis to kill her, and he leaves her with a cryptic comment about the family bastard being her problem now. (8/19)
• At the L&B showcase at Luke's, Alexis runs into Ned and agrees to stay and have an evening with him instead of meeting Stefan. She is pleasantly surprised when Brenda gets him to fill in for an absent Luther, and interested in the leather pants.... (8/21)
• Luke calls Alexis to tell her that he's leaving. He knows that she can handle all the loose ends with the Helena matter. (8/25)
• Stefan has Alexis and Nikolas in to dinner. He apologizes to Nikolas for keeping Alexis's relationship to him a secret, then says that he's going to work at making Laura a part of Nikolas's life. When they are all gathered, he tells them that there will be a guest. Helena enters, and the family proceeds, at Stefan's cue, to instruct her in the ways in which she will and will not behave in the future. She will have nothing to do with them, bottom line. Garcia arrives and arrests her. Out of the blue, Stefan mentions the missing Ice Princess diamond, and we cut to a shot of Luke in a bank vault hacking off a piece of the stone in question. (8/25)
• The party moves to the police station, and the three look on as Helena is booked for Katherine's murder. She posts her own bail, however, and, after flirting with Garcia, leaves Alexis to worry what she will do for revenge. (8/26)
• Alexis tries to make peace with Dara, who will hear none of it. She doesn't believe this latest twist in the Katherine Bell case. (8/26)
• At Helena's hearing, Alexis worries that Helena is up to something. While Stefan tries to reassure her, Helena, defending herself, calls a very much alive Katherine to the stand for her defense. (8/28)
• Katherine says that she fell--that she wasn't pushed--and claims that she doesn't know what she and Stefan were arguing about. Helena tells the tale of whisking Katherine away by means of the two-part Cassadine drug that mimics death and then, if used quickly enough, brings a person back to consciousness. She had nursed Katherine back to life. (8/31)
• Afterwards, the threesome was stunned as Katherine pranced before them, wordlessly taunting Stefan. She left with Helena. (8/31)

Laura: "I bitterly resent the way he he's treated my husband, Luke, and my other son, Lucky. But I have never doubted his devotion to Nikolas. And it meant everything to me to know that Nikolas had someone that he could rely on, even if it couldn't be me."

Laura: "There was no 'then what.' It all sort of happened at the same time. I stepped out on the parapet, they saw me, Katherine took a step back, and the railing gave way."

Laura: "After Stefan was arrested, I waited, but no one ever came to question me. I went to him and asked him if he wanted me to do anything, and he said no. I didn't know what was best. There were insinuations being made about the two of us that my coming forward might seem to confirm. But this morning I realized that I didn't have a choice. If I kept silent, he might actually go to prison."

Laura: "I...I'm not sure I understand the question. Did Stavros and I..."
Dara: "Mrs. Spencer, you're being coy. Have you and the defendant, now or in the past, ever had a physical relationship?"
Laura: "No, of course not."
Dara: "Never? Not once, not in all the time that you've known him?
Laura: "No."

Laura on the stand was a beautiful thing to see. Of course we knew that she would say nothing that would get Stefan in more trouble, or anything that would hurt Nikolas. She was wonderful, dodging the potholes and saying precisely that which would prove Stefan innocent. She explained away her delay in coming forward, turning the prosecution's accusations against them, and she remained calm and collected, looking like a mother worried about her son.

But she was also a wife worried about her husband's reaction, and she, like most people in the room, knew that he would be angry simply that she was testifying, and so we had that mantra of Spencer mantras, "I had no choice." Her worry, I think, and her honesty (ironic as that may sound), led her to her one slip. When Dara asked her the dreaded question, Laura hesitated, played coy, and almost gave it away. A simple no would have sufficed and drawn less attention to the question and the answer. Luke still would have known. But she would have looked less guilty, perhaps even to him. I was amazed that Nikolas didn't pick up on it, but maybe he will lateer, when he's not so euphoric

When the judge called recess, the immediate reactions of all were beautifully directed. Luke quickly left (strangely, he managed not to look hurried), while Laura ran after him. And Alexis restrained Stefan from going after her. Very nice.

Helena: "Well, a fantasy come true. Against all odds, and in public, too. The woman of your dreams stands up for you at last. Oh, a dead fiancée must seem like a small price to pay?"

Nikolas: "Laura stood up for me. I went to her this morning, and I told her how afraid I was, that I'd ruined everything and that you might be convicted because of it. She must have gone to you right after that. She chose me. For once, she chose me."

Katherine: "Happy now? She chose you."

This set of responses from the Cassadines bothered me a bit. At first I thought it was the language of choosing, used by both Nikolas and Katherine. Then I decided that the sense that the Cassadines knew what heavy price Laura would pay for this--that it would be more than just Luke's typical anger.

In fact, the language of choice came to make perfect sense to me. Oh, it always made sense where Nikolas was concerned. Because even though I didn't see Laura making a binary choice--not one son or family over the other--it made sense that Nikolas would see it that way. He knows that she didn't give up anything, or at least that she didn't choose to give up anything, but she did choose to act on his behalf, openly and in a major way, and that meant the world to him. Nikolas actually seemed his own age in the aftermath of the trial, and this line was the first instance of that.

No, it was the fact that Stefan envisioned Katherine saying that Laura had chosen him that bothered me, because that clearly wasn't the choice by any stretch of the imagination. Yet all along it's been clear that Stefan's been conjuring up Katherine to ease his conscience and that she would never say these things (unlike Luke, who conjures her up to speak the truth, perhaps). But as I watched this particular visitation, I got the impression that Stefan knew what he was doing and that Katherine had taken a slightly ironic, slightly threatening tone. She did, after all, take her place not at his side, but in the judge's bench. And after Helena's sarcasm, Katherine's response seemed in the same vein--seemed to echo Stefan's knowledge that Laura had not chosen him. And I decided that it was a very nice touch indeed.

Helena: "Oh, darling. To be where you've been, I'd have to be a brain donor."

If the scene that cut away from Helena in Katherine's hospital room only to have her leave a few minutes later just before Katherine died didn't set off any alarms, her almost-if-not-actually playful demeanor throughout the trial sure did. Everybody knew--or should have known--that something was most definitely up.

Nikolas: "You smother me sometimes, you know that? Most of the time, actually, and--and I hate that. But you're so determined to protect me, which is why I can understand that, I guess. But the thought of you gone? Wow. Impossible. When the judge--he announced that verdict, it was like hearing my father was free. You've always been like a father to me, you know that."
Stefan: "Nikolas, we know one another so well sometimes things are not said."
Nikolas: "I know, I know."
Stefan: "No, let me. Let me say it. Because I have you, I need no son."

This was the other instance that had me believing that Nikolas was a teenager. It was a lovely moment, beautifully done, even if the dramatic irony was a little heavy...

Helena: "Well, admiring Wyndemere or are you trying to melt it with your eyes? You know, I think you could have done it back in the days when you were partnered with Robert Scorpio. But Alexis? Oh, Luke. How could you stoop so--so low? I mean, I treasured all of your love notes--the loosened railing and the forged will with my fingerprint. Oh, you tried to murder me, and, that failing, you tried to frame me. God, I could hardly sleep those nights knowing that you cared. But how pathetic that the best you could do for a partner was Alexis, my husband's back-alley tramp's illegitimate issue. Oh, Luke. It's a real problem."
Luke: "You got that right, Helena. The bastard is your problem."

People were up in arms about this one. The thought that Luke would hand over the information he had so easily and quickly to Helena, putting Nik's life in danger was horrid to them. I say that if the thought hasn't crossed Helena's mind before, she's even denser than Nikolas is about the whole thing. And while it was crystal clear to us that Luke was talking about Nikolas, I'm not convinced that Helena put two and two together and immediately got four. She'll know that Luke has left town, and she'll know it has to do with the trial. But she's not being written as smart enough to figure this one out based only on this comment. And perhaps that's a shame. Because clearly Luke hasn't had time to make a plan, to think through how things would fall out if he told. While I'm not willing to say this was a knee-jerk reaction or a quip made off the cuff, I don't think that it was some plan to reveal the truth to Helena before he left town. We'll see if Helena ever mentions it again or asks him about it when he comes back.

Ned: "So, where's Luke tonight?"
Claude: "I don't see him. Do you?"
Ned: "He says I can always order a mixed drink as long as it's not too mixed. Can you define 'too mixed'?"
Claude: "A pina colada is too mixed. A bourbon rocks is just right."

Ned: "So, is this your new favorite hangout? As for me, I don't come around Here very often because it seems whenever I do, people are always getting blown up or shot at. But I suppose that sort of thing just sort of rolls off your back--just part of being in a place that you feel comfortable in--Murder, Inc."
Justus: "You and Edward taught me everything I know about representing felons."
Ned: "And now you even have Jason's henchmen to do your killing for you, should the need arise--again."
Justus: "You know, you look at me, and all you can see is a lost opportunity for blackmail, right, cousin?"
Ned: "Oh, don't kid yourself. It's not lost yet."

Ned: "Because I have a very important job for you. I need you to make me a better person ASAP--or by the end of the evening, whichever comes first."
Alexis: "I don't know if I can do that in 20 minutes. Besides, I have to meet Stefan."
Ned: "Haven't you done enough for that supercilious cyborg? Now is the time to dedicate yourself to something truly important--me."

Ned: "You should have invited Stefan to come and see the show with us."
Alexis: "When you're Russian by way of Greece, the blues you understand. Blues guitar? No."
Ned: "Now, that's very ironic. If your brother were any bluer, they'd name an antidepressant after him."

Alexis: "You never said anything about leather pants."

The star of the showcase was Ned, in more ways than one. I loved having Ned back, with his sense of ironic humor and his connections to so many of the characters on the canvas (if the powers that be would just acknowledge them). His conversation with Justus at the bar was simply a set-up for the scenes with Monica later, but they still sparkled, reminding me of how much fun I used to have with Justus and the Qs.

And, most of all, I love Ned and Alexis. I've said before how much I would love for their relationship to really be worked out in terms of each character's motivations. They are fun, sexy, romantic, and damned entertaining. I adored Ned and Lois. They were the first couple I fell head-over-heels in love with when I started watching. They were wonderful in so many ways. But their downfall was the fact that Lois fell in love with Eddie first. Alexis doesn't have that problem (although of course they will have others). She sees Ned for who he is as a Quartermaine, and now gets to discover the lighter side of him--and the leather pants--where Lois had to do it the other way around. Yes indeed, I would love to see this played out to the fullest.

As well as they manage to write Luke off for a while each year for Geary's vacation (and this time makes perfect sense), I have to say that it stinks that Luke won't be around for the fallout from this one. I'll also miss the banter between these two. James Dean indeed. I find it interesting that Luke's blanket condemnation of Cassadines has lifted for Alexis. At first, he used her Cassadine relationship to get her out of Lucy's employ, but then he seemed to be intrigued by it. He took to her so well that even though he's used her in this latest caper, I believe his words to her here. Why is she different? Her gender has something to do with it, I think. Not only is he attracted to her, but it is also a big part of him to protect women. Alexis has needed protecting. So it's been a weird mix of hesitance and devotion, and I like it.

Helena: "I demand to know why you've invited me."
Stefan: "For the pleasure of your company, mother. What other reason could there be?"
Helena: "To rub your acquittal in my face. The only reason I accepted your invitation was the chance to see Nikolas."
Stefan: "Oh. Your devotion to family is a model for us all."
Helena: "I have no intention of suffering through an afternoon of what passes for your wit. If you have nothing more constructive to say, I'll be leaving at once."
Stefan: "Don't move. I have specific information to impart."
Helena: "Concerning?"
Stefan: "Parameters for your behavior."
Alexis: "I can write them down, if you'd like--unless you think you can remember them. I better write them down. She is getting on."
Stefan: "Yes. First, any future harassment of Alexis is strictly forbidden. She is my sister and will be treated with respect. [The transcript cuts out here, but suffice it to say that Stefan threatens her with the same Wizard of Oz fate that Alexis has used in the past--something about a building...]
Alexis: "A large brick building."
Nikolas: "Ooh."
Stefan: "Any harassment of Nikolas is likewise forbidden."
Helena: "I have never, nor would I ever do such a thing."
Stefan: "Anything to add? Alexis?"
Alexis: "Thank you. No more disrobing like a common streetwalker and allowing portraits to be painted of your nude body. It embarrasses the family."
Nikolas: "Yes. Oh, and stay away from my mother, stay away from my sister, and, because I'm feeling particularly magnanimous today, stay away from lucky, too, huh?"
Stefan: "And finally, from this moment on, you are never to set foot on this island again."
Garcia: "Sorry to interrupt. Mrs. Lansbury said I could come in."
Stefan: "Ah, detective Garcia. Well, it appears our instructions may be irrelevant. Please, detective, don't let us keep you from your work."
Garcia: "Helena Cassadine, you're under arrest."

I thoroughly enjoyed these scenes of the arrest, both at the house and later at the station. The delivery was great, the surprise revelation of the fact that Helena was the guest and not Laura was fun, etc. But these weren't the Cassadines. No, these were some characters nearer to the Quartermaines. In fact, the humor the Qs have lost has clearly been relocated to the Cassadines, and I'm not sure I like that. Stefan should know better than to think this is so easy, and while Alexis and Nik were somewhat more believable, a high-five seemed a bit much. I know this was intended as a contrast to what was coming in the courtroom, but it was too over the top for my tastes.

Stefan: "There was a diamond known as the ice princess, the largest uncut diamond in the world. It's been missing for years. I happen to know it was last in the possession of my mother. Perhaps you can add grand theft to your list of charges."

Luke: "Oh, yeah. There you are, my princess of the cold, cold heart. Daddy's home. All right. You know the drill. Give it up, sweet baby."

And I HATED this. The mention by Stefan was out of the blue, and while it amuses me always to see Luke with his black bag o' tricks, this gag seemed stuck on the episode. I know it'll be dropped, and it was unclear to people whether Luke had possession or whether he was breaking into one of Helena's bank holdings. Guza described this bit as "cute," and that's more than I can say for it.

Helena: "Remove these shackles immediately."
Alexis: "And then by all means pour her a glass of Madeira."
Garcia: "Mrs. Cassadine, we are not on your yacht. Here you get a chair and a phone to call your lawyer."
Helena: "I demand to be removed from these handcuffs."
Nikolas: "I don't think she's catching on, hmm?"
Alexis: "Scrap metal becomes you, Helena."
Stefan: "And policemen balk at orders from felons."
Helena: "Oh, thank you for the benefit of your experience. Now, Detective Garcia, would you kindly remove the handcuffs? Surely you don't think I'm going to try to escape."
Alexis: "Pay no attention to her wizened exterior. Beneath her frail form lies the power of Colossus."
Helena: "The cuffs, please, and your warrant for arrest. I'd like to examine it myself."
Garcia: "Knock yourself out."
Stefan: "Detective, she has been known to use legal documents as weapons. Perhaps you should leave the handcuffs in place while she scans your warrant for actionable errors."

Helena: "I'm not armed, if that's what concerns you. Well, you're perfectly welcome to look for yourself. And my rings do not convert to daggers."
Alexis: "She left those on the boat."

Stefan: "If only every brush with the Scorpio girl could be as safe as this one."
Nikolas: "Well, for some families it's Christmas or an anniversary or a birthday. Our reason to celebrate is Helena's incarceration."

Felicia: "You arrested Helena Cassadine?"
Mac: "Word's out already?"
Felicia: "No, I just saw her in the hall."
Mac: "What did she look like?"
Felicia: "Color-coordinated and jewelry-free."

Helena: [to Garcia] "What an utterly loathsome profession for a man of your appeal. You know, my towel boy makes more than you do, and he derives far more pleasure from life."

Alexis: "That woman is entirely too happy."

Dara: "Your honor, appearing for the state, assistant district attorney Dara Jensen."
Helena: "Appearing for the defense, your honor, the victim, Katherine Bell."

Helena: "Oh, not the one you have now. The old one--the one I bribed. I'm certain that he substituted a corpse that no one else was using."
Judge: "Which was cremated and went to its eternal rest as Ms. Katherine Bell?"
Helena: "I see your point. But by all accounts, it was a lovely service."
Judge: "Have you any idea how many laws you've already admitted to breaking?"
Helena: "I'm not a native here. How was I to know?"

Judge: "Did it occur to you at any point in this state-of-the-art science-fiction caper to inform someone that Ms. Bell was alive?"
Helena: "Well, for the longest time, I wasn't sure that I could help her, and I certainly didn't want to raise my poor son's hopes needlessly."
Judge: "Your maternal instincts overruled your judgment."
Helena: "Yes."

Judge: "And, Ms. Bell, I hereby demand that you submit yourself to such medical or dental examinations as the state may require for the verification of your identity."
Katherine: "Who else could I be, my evil twin? All of Stefan's women come back from the dead, don't they?"

Dara: "Look, why don't you all take experimental drugs and go into comas? Then that way maybe you wouldn't be wasting my time and the taxpayers' money working out your dysfunction in the courtroom."

Helena on the stand is a delight and I loved the crack from the writers about the evil twin, but I couldn't even enjoy that for my hatred of Katherine and that smug smirk she seems destined to wear permanently now that she's back. I'll spare you my rant about Katherine (well, save it for later) and a discussion of my distaste for Mary Beth Evans's acting ability, especially when she's trying to play this side of Kat's character. Suffice it to say I was not amused and not looking forward to this storyline at all.