**The Week in Review: August 11 - August 15**

I. The Cassadines

A. Alexis and Stefan

Stefan:  "That's my mother.  Always perverse."

On Monday, Alexis said she got the photographs from the caretaker George.  He had found them, she said, in renovating Mikkos's private retreat--he hid them from Helena, she said.  They chatted a bit about Mikkos's habit of keeping mistresses and Helena's habit of raving about them, and they remembered Stefan protecting Alexis.  It was clear that she loves him, and she's a bit torn about what she's doing.  I don't like this storyline; I think it's hurting Alexis for the benefit of some star-crossed lover thing with S&K, but I do like the emotions we're getting from her even if the motivations are left vague.

There were several photos from vacations, etc., and then there was one of Mikkos and a blonde woman...who looked like Katherine.  Stefan said his father had taken pictures with all of his staff, ostensibly to make them feel part of the family, but really so he'd have something to show the police in case of theft.  Crack me up.

Alexis pressed him to admit that this had to be a photo of the "notorious Kristen," his father's favorite mistress and the one Helena hated.  More exposition (including mention of the family in church on Easter Sunday--just for Terry and the FGC Stefan mailing list, I reckon) and talk of the family followed.  Kristen had a child--a daughter--and as far as people knew they were dead (complications at birth, not a rage on Helena's part--though that was another rumor).  Stefan said he would have liked a sister, and I was sorry that he didn't say that he had come to consider Alexis that sister.

Alexis turned the subject to Katherine and Nikolas.  She suggested a family dinner at Katherine's to make Katherine more comfortable and assure Nikolas that they had accepted his decision.  He agreed.  And when he left the room, she checked in with Leo. 

B. Katherine and Nikolas

Katherine:  "I thought the two of you hated each other."
Nikolas:  "We got over it."

Nikolas told Katherine that he had met somebody; she guessed, actually, because he seemed so happy.  He gushed for a while, and admitted it was Sarah.  He said he had learned not to trust first impressions, and they remembered hating each other when they first met.  I wished that he would get over his first impressions with his mother in the future.  He asked what she did when she was happy (he eats leftovers standing up).  She said she saw movies in her head; he asked if tonight's would star his Uncle.  I'm sad that they're letting the Nik-for-Katherine attraction go so easily and that he seems so unconcerned with her relationship with his uncle.

C. At the Hospital

On Wednesday, Alexis got a call from Leo.  She said Stefan bought the evidence and she just had to figure out how to get the "item" back to its original location.  Nikolas and Katherine arrived.  He went to work and Alexis waylaid Katherine to see if they could arrange a belated birthday dinner for Stefan all together.  Katherine agreed, and said they could go back to her house to watch the fireworks afterwards.  Stefan arrived and said he was at their mercy--too cute.

After Alexis left, Stefan asked Katherine about Alexis's good will.  Katherine said they were both making an effort and that she was glad to be included in family plans.  Nikolas interrupted and set up plans with Stefan to go riding at Wyndemere...with a guest.  Stefan said he'd take care of everything, and I was proud to see he didn't pry.  Nikolas then ran into Sarah and told her he wanted to meet her in the usual place.  Stefan looked on.

I am interested, despite myself, in the way Stefan will handle this little romance...if it ever gets on track.  He seems very interested in it, and I think he'd be concerned about anybody Nikolas was seeing.  I'm wondering if the fact that she's a Hardy will affect his judgment of the situation, if he would ever try to stop Nikolas from seeing her after all this confrontation about Nik's control over his own life.

Stefan:  "Barbara has a pension for melodrama."

Later, Barbara showed up with the divorce papers and got in a few snide remarks to both Stefan and Katherine.  Too funny.  It was clear that they're both happy to get this marriage over with, but I'm kind of sad the fight is over so soon.  Alexis stopped by to see if Nikolas would be joining them; Stefan said he had plans.  Katherine went home to change; Stefan complimented her; Alexis called Leo and said she could take care of the return.  Stefan met with Alan and told Amy to tell "our nephew, should he call" that the plans were made.  I like the exchanges between Amy and Stefan.  They're nice little moments in the middle of everything else that remind of us character history, and they're usually a hoot.

D. Nikolas and Sarah

They met at the church and exchanged sappy observations about heart rates and secrets.  They talked more about families keeping secrets that you felt you were better off knowing and she said her family didn't usually keep secrets.  They continued to compare the Cassadines and the Webbers.  He had an ideal version of her family and she assured him they had their problems.  He told her they could go riding that night and she had to turn him down because of the concert with Lucky.  Nikolas was gracious and said there must have been confusion about the dates, but he took off quickly, not letting her explain.  She said it wasn't a date, it was a rain check, but he took off quickly and was clearly upset.  Yet another long flashback to that dance.  Sigh.

Finally, these two just bore me.  They're both silly sweet when they're together--all sharing and concern and no tension.  Just awkwardness, which gets old.  (Of course, I've seen what tptb do to give them some tension, but I'll spare my critique of that for the appropriate review.)

E. At Katherine's

Stefan:  "I believe that the exact translation would be: 'May your beets be ripe and may you have many, many large rocks in your hat.'"

Stefan:  "I believe she was trying to say, 'The best is yet to come.'"
Alexis:  "How apt."

After the hang-up, Katherine entered and told Nikolas he looked upset.  Stefan and Alexis arrived as Nikolas went upstairs.  The grown-ups drank champagne and Katherine tried to toast Stefan's birthday.  He was pleased with her sentiment, but Alexis spoke for me when she cattily asked what Katherine had intended her mixed-up Russian to mean.  Ha!  They smashed glasses into the fireplace.

Stefan:  "The words one speaks aren't nearly as important as what's behind them."

Later, Stefan talked with Nikolas about the riding plans and Nikolas didn't tell him that the plans were off.  He and Katherine grew even mushier, much to Alexis's chagrin.  She got them to go watch the fireworks on the balcony as she made a phone call--really she was staying behind to replace the "item."  I was interested in Stefan's above comment--Stefan, who pays so much attention to words and speech.

More mush, and I can't understand how they're so comfortable nuzzling together with Alexis there with them.  It seems disrespectful, somehow, since the dinner was her idea.  Stefan rambled on about secrets and his father.  Alexis turned the conversation to family and Katherine spoke of her mother.  Alexis asked to see a picture, then noted Stefan's reaction.  And he did react.

II. The Webber People

Audrey:  "Let's just say that Nikolas and Lucky have entirely different opinions of their mother."

Sarah pressed her question again on Monday, but Audrey said there was nothing wrong with her liking Nikolas.  She said she was just worried that Sarah was limiting herself to one boy so soon.  Sarah's description of Nikolas made it clear how far gone on him she was.  She quizzed Audrey about the Cassadines and about Nikolas and the Spencers, and Audrey filled her in very...tactfully.  Audrey then told her that her liking Nikolas would only make matters worse and that she had to tell Lucky what was going on.  Sarah said she wasn't ready to tell Lucky about her feelings for Nikolas, and insisted that Lucky didn't think of them as more than friends.  Sigh.

Audrey:  "Did you at least fill my car with gas, or do I add 'leaving me with an empty tank' to the rest of your crimes?"

Sarah went to look for Lizzy, but came back in and told Audrey the car was missing.  They both immediately knew Elizabeth had taken it.  When she got home, they both greeted her and called her on her lie.  Sarah joined in the attack, and Lizzy resented that (I would have too).  But she tried to lie about what her parents would have thought and Sarah called her on it.  But Audrey wasn't to be snowed, and Lizzy gave in.

Lizzy tried to explain herself to Audrey while Sarah took a phone call from Lucky.  Lizzy said she felt left out and needed some space.  Audrey assured her that she was wanted and was welcome to stay.  Lizzy said that she had decided to stay in Port Charles and not to take off.  Audrey didn't know that she was considering it, and was concerned.  She wasn't buying the act completely, but I think she really does like Lizzy being there and wants to help.  So they made the peace.  Audrey asked the sisters to do the same.  But when she left, Sarah let her have it, and it was clear there would be no peace.

On Wednesday, Sarah came back to the house to retrieve her forgotten lunch and asked about Lizzy.  Audrey said Lizzy had been on her best behavior but wasn't home.  Sarah was suspicious, but Audrey wanted to think the best.  After a call from Lucky, Lizzy came in and asked her and Audrey if she looked dependable because she was off to find a job as a waitress.

Audrey:  "Maybe I'd better buy paper plates next time I go to the supermarket."

That night, Lizzy practiced carrying trays and whining about her sister's preferential treatment while Sarah worried about her outfit for the outdoor concert.  The sisters sniped about wardrobe and jobs and Lizzy made it quite clear she wasn't cut out to be a waitress...and she wasn't even at work yet!  Sarah told Audrey about her second invitation and reassured her that she'd have a good time.  Sarah called Nikolas but hung up on him.  Audrey and Lizzy had a few sweet moments, and Audrey told her not to lay it on too thick.  But Lizzy was really asking if she could go to the concert.

After Lucky left with Sarah, Audrey left to go to the hospital.  Lizzy was left by herself, and she tore a button off of Sarah's sweater.  Oops.  And crack me up.  I like Lizzy, even if she is a little obvious sometimes.  She's at least fun to watch, unlike her sister.

III. The Spencers...actually just Lucky

Lizzy:  "Well, let's see.  Is there anyone else in your family I haven't insulted?"
Lucky:  "A few.  But I have confidence in you."

Lucky and Lizzy kept swapping smart remarks on Monday.  He called her on her cigarettes and beer, and then she said they should go somewhere else and get a soda...and started badmouthing Ruby.  Lucky let her in on the secret only after she had dug herself in really deep.  He let her off the hook, though he still kept teasing her.  Then she insulted his bracelet...which Lulu had made him.  She was on a roll.  She switched tactics and asked about his sister.  He returned the question, but she didn't tell him about Sarah.  He asked how he got there; she admitted she didn't have a license.  He asked her name but she wouldn't give it.  Then he called Sarah about the concert.  She talked about meeting up with some people, and he made it clear that's not what he intended.

On Wednesday he called again--how many times do you have to check in about the same outing?  He was filling in at Kelly's because somebody was sick.  He chatted with some friends about the concert that night, and while he was out of the room Lizzy arrived.  She tried to butter up Ruby and get a job then said Lucky could vouch for her.  Lucky said that he didn't know anything about her.  She kept on talking until Ruby gave in and let her have the application.  She asked if she should go to the park that night and he said that it was free.  Not the answer she was looking for.  Ha!  After he left, she found out Lucky didn't work there all the time and was disappointed.

Lucky came back and they swapped witty remarks about her fake name on the application: Elizabeth Love.  Whatever.  He corrected her grammar and dodged her questions about his personal life.  She managed to find out that he was there at breakfast every morning and when he left again she told Ruby, who said she could work on a trial basis, that she wanted the morning shift--but not the very next morning, because she was going to be out late.

But even though they're corny and sometimes annoying, I like Lucky and Lizzy together.  While he's sometimes a better person when he's with Sarah, he and Lizzy are more fun to watch.  And I believe Lizzy could have a crush on him.  He seems just her type, somehow.

Lizzy answered the door and thought Lucky was there for her.  She was appalled to find that he was there to pick up Sarah.  He stopped in to say hello to Audrey and Sarah introduced him to Lizzy.  Lucky told her about Kelly's and Sarah assumed that was the only way she got the job.  Lucky and Sarah went off to meet the others, and Lizzy decided that she didn't want to go to the concert after all.

Lucky and Sarah joined the others and we were treated to some boring scenes of the concert in the park.  Nikolas showed up and looked on, but didn't come over.  He saw Lucky and Sarah sitting close.  When the song they had danced to came on, he left.  I'm still irritated with Sarah for doing all these date things and not telling Lucky what's going on.  She's stringing both of the guys along, after all.

IV. Sonny and Brenda

A. The Rescue

On Monday, Sonny kept taunting the Tin Man.  The alarm system went off, and we heard a woman's cries for help at the front door.  V. fell into the hallway choking and gasping for air, and everyone was confused.  She said her car had gone off the road and she needed help.  In the meantime, Jax came in through the back door and let loose Brenda and Sonny.  He hid as the guards returned.  The Tin Man threatened to shoot V., but Sonny said he had never seen her.  Rivera wanted her alive until she told them how she got through the security.  While the guards went out to look, Jax made a move.  The Tin Man threatened; a fight broke out.  The SIDAR was triumphant, finally, after a fairly awkward fight (though V. looked pretty good).  And at the end, Jax looked on while Sonny and Brenda embraced.

Rivera:  "You'll never get what you want.  Not with her."

Then Brenda hugged Jax and thanked him while Sonny tied the guards up.  And over to the side, Rivera the gun he had held concealed at Brenda.  Jax saw it, called out, and Sonny shot Rivera.  On Tuesday, Sonny confirmed he was dead and they all agreed it was self-defense.  But the Tin Man was alive, and grabbed Jax, threatening to kill him.  Sonny told him to fire, because he would shoot the Tin Man in the time it took him to shoot Jax.  Brenda protested, but Sonny told the Tin Man to run--and he did.  Sonny thanked Jax for the good work then went after the Tin Man.  Brenda was worried, but Jax told her he would live.

B. The Swamp

Brenda:  "Do you know that I remember every single second we ever spent together?  I'm a better person because of you.  And here you are for me again.  You're my best friend."
Jax:  "And you're mine.  Still, I think you'll do us both a big favor if you stop looking at me like some paragon.  I like to have fun, and we did mostly.  Even the bad times were fairly enjoyable."

V went to the road to look for the cops (despite Jax's protests and worry) and Jax stayed with Brenda.  He said he came because she needed him.  Brenda worried about Sonny, saying they had gotten lost in the swamp; I would bet that was more her doing than it was Sonny's.  ;)  Brenda said that Jax had known she wasn't over Sonny from the start, and Jax told her she had just gone after what she wanted--that's what he liked about her and he couldn't fault her for it.  Brenda said Sonny was more honest and that she knew what she was getting into when she came there with him.  She told him that they had called Robin...but that she had wanted to call him instead, to thank him for everything.  They reminisced and told each other they were best friends.

Brenda wanted to go after Sonny, but Jax made her wait for the police.  The phones were dead, but they found the surveillance equipment.  When they found the camera in the hall, Brenda knew they could find the Tin Man's confession on tape, which they did.

Sonny:  "You guessed wrong, Tin Boy.  It's gonna cost ya."
Tin Man:  "You're better than I thought, Corinthos."
Sonny:  "I'm motivated."

Sonny found the Tin Man.  He fired a shot into the air to make the Tin Man drop his gun and the Tin Man said Sonny couldn't kill him because he needed his testimony to get Brenda off.  But then V found Sonny and told him to lower his weapon.  Sonny got the Tin Man to his knees, and he told her he would put his gun away if she would cover him.  I hated that the Tin Man got away on V's watch; it made her look incompetent.  She and Sonny went after him.

V: "Well it's murder."
Sonny:  "Not if they don't find the body."

The Tin Man had fallen in the quicksand.  Sonny was going to shoot him and let him fall into the sand, but V wouldn't let him.  She wanted to help him, but Sonny told her she'd go under too.  Finally, V was left to watch because Sonny wouldn't help him.  While the scene was corny, I liked it because of what it showed about Sonny and V--for the first time in a long time we've seen how cold Sonny can be, and it was made clearer by V's reaction.  I hoped they wouldn't drop this contrast too soon, but it looks as though they have.  V came back to the house, shaken.  Sonny returned and announced that the Tin Man fell into the quicksand; V backed his story.

C. The Airport

Sonny:  "I owe you one."
Jax:  "Well, next time I need someone taken care of I'll give you a call."

On Thursday, everyone was at the airport and they were informed that all the charges had been dropped.  They were headed home.  Sonny told Brenda he had dealt with things great.  Jax and V. arrived and they found they were all headed home on the same flight.  Sonny sent Brenda to check on things with V. and thanked Jax for saving their lives.  Jax simply asked that he take good care of Brenda to repay the debt.

V.:  "There's not much difference between you and the man we watched die."

Outside, Brenda thanked V. for coming with Jax and helping them.  They chatted about Jax a bit until the men came out.  Brenda and Sonny headed off for food and Jax said he'd help V. get her job back.  He apologized for his behavior and she was very gracious.  S&B came back and they all headed for the plane.  Sonny took V. aside and Jax and Brenda were left together. She thanked him and told him that she would always be her friend; he agreed.  Sonny thanked her and told her to call him by his first name.  She was worried about the Tin Man and turned down his offer of a truce, saying she didn't like him and wouldn't accept help from him.  I wanted more of this tension between them after they got back to PC.

And at the end of the episode, the Tin Man climbed out of the quick sand.  Oh Lord, help us all.

V. Mac

On Tuesday, Dara showed up at The Outback after hours to rehearse.  The guy closing up told her nobody was there, but when she finished her song, Mac was there applauding.  She didn't want to sing in front of anybody, but Mac told her he was just the owner and promised to work on the books and not watch her.  Tuesday's episode closed with a montage of scenes from that day's characters covered by Dara's song.

I kind of like this little flirtation we've got going between Mac and Dara, though I'm still not a fan of Dara (but I think Mac's a cutie, and perhaps one of the few men on the show I might actually want to date in real life).  I suspect, however, that it'll become a mere plot device to show Felicia that she really wants Mac back when she gets back from Texas.

VI. The Quartermaines

A. Ned and Monica

Ned:  "Monica, to be honest, you and Alan fighting isn't all that different from you and Alan getting along."
Monica:  "It is to me."

On Tuesday, Ned was at the mansion sneaking a snack late at night and met Monica, who told him she didn't know where Alan was and that it was all his fault.  Monica told Ned that Alan felt betrayed and he was right to feel so.  Ned told her that they had kept Alan out of jail, because he certainly would have confessed to save Emily and Monica--and ended up leading the police back to Emily.  But Monica knew it was bad, and spoke of divorce.  She described the pattern of their relationship and said she couldn't live like that anymore.  Ned spoke of the kids.  Monica filled him in on Jason; they had signed him out of the hospital to see Robin.  She knew he was hurting.

Ned told her Alan would be back because he loved her.  He told her that no matter how wacky their pattern of behavior was, their marriage worked for them.  He told them they endured, but she said they were tired of enduring.  But she still waited up for Alan as Ned went home.

I like Ned and Monica together, and I like the fact that they had this collaboration during the Dorman thing.  They certainly see each other clearly, and don't always like what they see.  And I think it's a good thing to explore their connection in this way with Alan's jealousy.

B. Alan and Jason

Alan was at Jason's apartment.  Jason told him he could have been shot, waiting there in the dark.  Alan told him he should be in the hospital or somewhere else, because he wasn't safe.  Jason wasn't having any.  Alan insisted on looking at the wound, and Jason allowed it.  Alan told him about the anniversary party and tried to give instructions, but Jason said he didn't need his help.

Alan:  "Oh my God, you're disappointed."
Jason:  "No, you are."

Alan:  "Why is my love so offensive to you?"
Jason:  "Because it's not love.  Or if it is I don't want it."

Alan then told him that he had the hospital run an HIV test on him while he was in the hospital.  Jason was angry that Alan had done this without his permission and started to threaten.  Alan insisted that he would worry no matter what Jason said, and that he had the right to feel relieved knowing he had tested negative.  Alan thought he was disappointed, but Jason turned it back on Alan, saying that Alan wanted him to be a patient, because then he'd have some control over Jason's life.  Jason said he didn't want a love that entitled somebody to invade his life.

Alan:  "Do you know what I realize when I look at you?  You know what I see?  All my dreams that have become the embodiment of all my failures."

Alan:  "I really have tried really really hard to love him.  But I've always been prepared for him to fail.  And I never seem to be disappointed.  And maybe the failures are my fault; AJ certainly seems to think so.  He is my eldest, and he should be my pride.  But he's not.  You are.  Even now.  You may have thought that the, uh....  You may have thought that the accident really changed you that much, but it didn't.  You see, to me, you're still perfect.  You're still golden.  I know you don't care, and that's the irony.  Because no matter how hard AJ tries, AJ will never earn my love.  And no matter how hard you try, you'll never destroy it."
Jason:  "I can't.  I can't help you."
Alan:  "You'd think I know that by now."

Alan tried to explain his emotions to Jason, but Jason didn't understand.  Jason told him to talk to AJ, because AJ was Alan's son.  And Alan said he couldn't.  He stumbled around through the bible story of Jacob and Esau and told Jason that he couldn't love AJ...and that he could never hate him.  Stuart Damon was so wonderful in these scenes, and Alan's pain made me cry.

I don't want Jason to get his memory back, or to become a Quartermaine again.  I want to sustain the tension between him and his family, but I also want to see them keep working towards a truce.  And I want to keep seeing more of Alan's self-reflection about his feelings towards his sons, even though it tears me up to see Stuart cry.

C. AJ

On Wednesday, AJ ran into Keesha at the hospital, where she was going to work in the Social Services department.  They chatted about her change in career choice and his feeling he was on the right track with things.  She asked him to get together later and catch up, but he said he had dinner plans with Carly and Tony.  More praise for Carly, even from Keesha.

D. Monica and Alan's Anniversary

Friday's episode was devoted to Leslie Charleson and Stuart Damon's 20th anniversary on the show.  Most of the episode was Alan and Monica, separately and together, interspersed with flashbacks and a great ending montage.  But I get ahead of myself....

Alan:  "What would we do without your running commentary about what's wrong with us."

Lila:  "Oh dear.  Why is it that you two seldom seem to speak to each other at your anniversaries?  Is it written in the stars?  Hmmm?  Fix it!"

Alan:  "I don't know how, mother."

Alan was by himself when Ned told him AJ was on the phone.  AJ didn't want to talk and Ned gave AJ the slip.  Ned asked if he was celebrating alone and Alan said he thought that maybe Monica and Ned were planning on celebrating.  Edward, Justus, and Lila entered to take Ned to dinner and Alan told them that Monica was at the hospital.  Edward blustered and Lila sent him upstairs, then Ned and Justus no-so-subtly found a reason to leave the room.  Alan admitted to Lila that he didn't know where Monica was.  Lila told him to fix it, and after she left he said he didn't know how.  We had a flashback to a toast at one of their weddings--, as we were to have Monica and Alan flashbacks throughout.

Monica:  "I'm just tired of apologizing.  I walk into a room and the first thing out of my mouth is 'I'm sorry.'  Well, if I'm such a failure, such a colossal disappointment, why don't I just do the world a favor and go be a disappointment on my own?  I bet that's what you were thinking when you left the house.  You think Sonny could get me a job?"
Jason:  "Now you're talkin' stupid."

Monica was sitting in the park alone, until Jason came and joined her.  They swapped small talk about the concert and Emily, then she asked him to sit with her.  She announced that she was thinking of leaving his father, though she knew he didn't think of Alan as his father, and though she knew that Jason didn't give a damn.  She had forgotten what it was like to walk into the house without having to explain where she'd been, and she said she was tired of apologizing for everything from the minute she walked into the room.

Monica:  "He remembers when he was thinner, but not when he was younger."

Jason:  "Why'd you marry him?"
Monica:  "I must have had a reason.  I guess I just forgot to write it down."

He asked which marriage this anniversary was for and she told him he was like his father.  She described Alan as a younger man--his temper, mostly.  Jason didn't understand why she married him.  She remembered Alan's proposal and saying that she'd never take the ring off.  This scene may have been my favorite individual flashback; I loved seeing them together and happy.

Alan:  "Is there a vow that we didn't break, Monica?  That I expected.  I just didn't expect to feel this lonely.  Well, to you, Monica.  I wonder who disappeared in this marriage, you or me?  Cheers."

Alan:  "Oh God, AJ.  I'm so sorry.  It's not your fault.  I coulda loved you so much more if I have loved her less."

We faded back to Alan, remembering the same thing and toasting, and we went to the opening credits.  After the first set of commercials, Alan called AJ back and thanked him for the present and card.  He lied to AJ, telling him that Monica was upstairs and that they were enjoying their anniversary.  AJ didn't want to know the details.  Too funny--and sad all at the same time, given Alan's line (above) after he got off the phone.  Here we got several scenes of the storyline when Monica was pregnant with AJ and the confusion surrounding his parentage.  I take the line to mean that he learned to hate AJ when he was an infant because he loved Monica so much that he was so jealous over the thought that the baby was Rick's.  A cute scene too, of Monica with both the boys as children.

Monica:  "There are some people who think I'm just a marvel.  Really.  And they're not even strangers; they know me.  I'm just not related to them."

Monica:  "If I want to be misunderstood, I can just go home."

Monica:  "Well, sometimes I guess love just has to take a back seat.  You want it to be the answer; you want it to matter.  But sometimes it just doesn't."
Jason:  "When.  When doesn't it matter?"

After that scene, we faded back to Monica and Jason.  She said she had no business being a wife and a parent because she wasn't warm and she wasn't very good at it, even though her family meant so much to her.  Jason said he'd survived; Monica said Alan was warm and that he probably got it from Lila.  Jason asked if they would get divorced, and she said she didn't know.  She said things had been worse and that they could probably pull things through, but that she didn't know if they wanted to.  Jason pointed out that the family always talked of love but that she was talking like they were a weight around her neck.  Contrast that with Jason, wants love not to matter because of Robin.

Alan:  "You and I, we almost got carried away, didn't we."
Bobbie:  "Thank God we didn't."
Alan:  "You ever wonder?"
Bobbie:  "Ya, I suppose sometimes I do."
Alan:  "You up for it now?"

Bobbie:  "And if the day ever comes when Monica doesn't appreciate you, you look me up."
Alan:  "You busy next week?"

Bobbie showed up to drop off a present and she and Alan chatted a bit.  Too funny, with some flashbacks to their almost-affair.  Bobbie rambled about their great and lasting marriage, but Alan didn't believe it and said he hadn't given up on her and Tony.  She had.  The above was so funny.  Bobbie knew he didn't mean it and just laughed.  But he was in pain as he remembered all the old affairs up to Pierce Dorman.

Ned:  "There's a lesson here.  Could one of us learn it, please?  Wouldn't that be nice?  To go to bed happy; to wake up the same; to have no doomsday secrets to hide.  Of course for me it's academic; it's already too late."
Monica:  "No matter what happens I always hope I have you."
Ned:  "Oh, sure.  We'll be ninety.  I'll be a little younger.  We'll be huddled over our walkers coming up with schemes to trick our nurses into thinking highly of us.  Because really, what else is there."

In the meantime, Ned had seen Monica's car as they drove to the Grill for dinner and came to see her.  He said Alan was waiting, and she said that he was waiting for the magic words, which neither of them knew.  Ned was concerned he was partly to blame, but she said he wasn't the problem.

Alan:  "You have taken responsibility for all your failings and Monica and I have to take responsibility for ours, and ours have nothing to do with yours.  You are about the best thing that was left between us."
Emily:  "That's a nice thing to say, but it's hard to believe."
Alan:  "Why?"
Emily:  "Because.  I am glad that I feel like a real part of this family now, but where did I come from.  I'm a left over part of Monica's cancer."
Alan:  "Why would you think that?"
Emily:  "It's a fact.  Thinking doesn't change it."
Alan:  "Sweetheart, no one is gonna deny that you walked into this house with more than a little bit of sadness.  But what you brought to this house and to this family was life, not death, not illness.  And I thank God every single day for you.  Apparently I have forgotten to thank you personally."

Emily got home and Alan told her that Monica was stuck at the hospital.  Emily knew he was lying.  She blamed herself, but Alan wouldn't let her.  This is such a good conversation that I kept it all, above.  That last line broke me up.  Then we had flashbacks of Emily coming to live with them--and a great clip of Alan's Sydney the bear impression.

Monica:  "We used to be able to bounce back from almost anything."
Alan:  "Well, maybe we ran out of elastic."

Alan:  "Were you expecting an argument?"
Monica:  "Always."

As they ended, Monica got home and Emily went upstairs.  We went to commercial as they looked at each other.  She shut the door and looked around the room, remembering all the fights they've had--as if she expected another one, or, more likely, feared that they didn't have the kind of passion that turned into fights like that anymore.  These clips were a riot.

Alan:  "It is torture being so close to you and feeling so alone."

Monica:  "Don't you get tired of having the same argument over and over again?"

But afterwards, they both said they couldn't do this anymore.  He asked if she was disappointed in his agreement and said that he loved her too much to be married to her in some normal arrangement that didn't expect much.  He spoke again of her distance from him and her lies and schemes with Ned.  She was a cardboard cutout to him, and he couldn't stand feeling so separated from her.  She listed her sins and said they both drove the people that loved them away, but that she couldn't apologize any more because he seemed to think that she was deliberately trying to hurt him.

Monica:  "Which one of us is more confused here?  I mean, you wait to tell me we can't go on, and you give me an anniversary present?  What did you imagine was gonna happen here tonight?"
Alan:  "One of two things.  Either you were gonna make me forgive you--I dunno how, but you're so much more creative at that sort of thing than I am."
Monica:  "I've had more practice.  Or?"
Alan:  "Or we would say the things that we've said to each other, tell each other that we couldn't go on, and then we would."
Monica:  "Go on."
Alan:  "Uh-huh."
Monica:  "And why would we do that?"
Alan:  "You asked me what I imagined.  The other I can't."
Monica:  "Neither...neither can I.  How do you put up with me?  I am so ungrateful."
Alan:  "Ok.  I forgive you."
Monica:  "Don't say that.  It'll just go to my head."
Alan:  "I...I shouldn't have punished you the way I did.  It's not that you didn't deserve it, it's just that you're gonna come back right back and you do it better than me."
Monica:  "Why do I have to love you?"
Alan:  "You're very lucky."

But just as they agreed they would just stop so they wouldn't have to have the same argument over and over, she saw the present he had bought her.  After the above conversation I was sitting amid a sea of used Kleenex.  And I had to watch it again.  We went from that conversation to a montage of them kissing with Celine Dion's "Because you Loved Me" (I think that's the title--you know the one).  I don't like the song, but I sure liked it here.  Nice job.  And at the end?  The best line ever from Alan--and the best delivery possible from Stuart Damon.  I wouldn't want to do without these two, and I'm glad they're still together after everything.  Some people didn't like the anniversary, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Alan:  "What a crappy anniversary."

VII. Carly

A. The Outback

Bobbie:  "Seems to me that every single thing you do suits your purpose."

On Wednesday, Carly arrived at The Outback just as Tony was calling from work to say he was running late.  Bobbie was there with her lawyer receiving the final paperwork on her divorce from Stefan.  She over heard Carly answering to the name "Mrs. Jones" when the call came in and of course had to say something snarky in one of what's beginning to seem a never-ending sequence of cat fights between these two.  Bottom line, she ridiculed Carly for not being married yet, suggesting that maybe they never would be.  Carly moved into condescension mode and managed a few quick jabs.  But Bobbie told her that everybody would know what she had done--trapped Tony into marriage with a baby.

Bobbie:  "Friends? You don't have any friends.  All you have are use-ees."

I particularly liked the line with Bobbie asking her how she tricked all these men to fly to her rescue.  I can't wait to see her reaction if and when Luke ever comes near taking Carly's side in anything publicly.  Ha!  But Bobbie was talking about AJ's defense of Carly and wondering why AJ would bother with her when she would turn on AJ for anything.  Carly denied it and Bobbie moved on to say that she would never be a good mother.  Carly launched into a rant about bad mothers and almost spilled the beans...but Tony flew into her rescue.  The typical Carly whining ensued, after one last snap from Bobbie.  But at least she didn't become immediately nice when he showed up as she sometimes does.

Tony tried to make light of the situation, but Carly ranted about Bobbie.  Tony made her tell him everything, and Carly told him a version of the events with the waiter calling her Mrs. Jones.  Tony told her that he was intending to ask her to marry him; he was only waiting until he was sure she knew that he loved her for her, and not because of the baby.  She was happy just over the possibility.  Tony headed back to the hospital.

B. The Plan Goes into Action

Carly thought about Bobbie's words as she called AJ and checked in about their dinner date.  He said he was coming home to change and she said they'd meet him there.  I just had this sick feeling.  As she pilfered through Tony's medical bag, he came in and asked her what she was doing.  On Thursday, we saw that she had gone into the other room and started complaining of nausea.  He told her not to take things without her doctor's recommendation.  Tony said he would stay home and she objected.  He called the doctor and gave her another mini-lecture on nutrition.  He wanted to make her some dinner, but she grabbed some crackers and sent him out the door.  He told her again that they'd marry when she was ready.

When he was gone she called the bartender and made sure that everything was set up.  The super showed up with a laundry cart; she has asked for it to help move things around the apartment and didn't want to strain herself.  Then she headed over to AJ's to tell him Tony wouldn't be able to go to dinner with them...taking the pills with her.  It was clear from the obligatory flashbacks that she was already having regrets about what she was about to do.  It's interesting to me that here we have the standard soap trouble-maker, but this time she knows exactly what she's doing and hates that she has to.  I think she cares about AJ and justifies this to herself with the fact that he'll end up someplace good for him--rehab.

AJ suggested that they go out anyway.  They talked a bit about his calendar on which he was marking off the days AB--after booze.  She told him they were getting married.  He offered her some juice while he took a shower and she poured him a glass with the pills.  I was struck with the comparison of this drugging and Bobbie's drugging of Stefan a while ago.  Two low actions, both justified by defense of family.  The parallels between mother and daughter are amazing.

AJ:  "Is it the end of an era?  Or am I actually going to get along with my father?"

AJ:  "If something lasts your whole life, can that be a phase?  The thing is, I always blamed him.  But he didn't change; I did."

At the end of Thursday, they toasted.  At the beginning of Friday, she had a moment of terror when AJ had to make a call to his parents; she thought he wouldn't drink the juice.  That was the saddest part to me, actually.  AJ's reaction to the phone call.  He thought it was so nice because it wasn't confrontational, it was honest.  And he had no idea that Alan was lying through his teeth.  And this made it harder on Carly, I think, to see his hope.  She talked about her moods and her family too, and then she made him promise that he didn't put a condition on his hope, that he wouldn't give up if he made a mistake.

But after he had called them, he did drink.  She told him she had an errand to run and would meet him at the restaurant.  She had taken his keys so she could get back in.  He started to feel weird and passed out.  She rolled him into the laundry basket and kept quiet when Jason came to the door.

By the time it happened, I knew it was coming.  But boy, howdy, did this make Carly look bad.  A lot of folks wrote her off completely.  The thing is, I still like feel for her and I still think she and AJ could continue to be good for each other.  And at least this good storyline which has been doomed to repetition came to a head finally.  The fallout should be fun to watch...and I hope it is.  And I'll have lots more to say about Carly in the reviews to come (And I will catch up, I promise!  My goal is to get caught up well before Luke comes back, because you know I won't be able to stand waiting to comment on that event!  Thanks for your patience.  I know some of the people on the mailing list are depending on this for their GH fix!)